A Trio Of Dad Stories

My Grandfather: Mom's Dad lost the use of his left arm at the age of 13. It was broken and through the malpractice of a doctor back in 1923, it never healed. It wasn't paralyzed but the fingers were permanently folded into the palm and frozen in place by atrophied muscle.

He lived until he was 92. I never, ever saw him ask for help with anything...from eating to yard work to giving himself insulin when he became diabetic. He could drive and he worked as a delivery driver for a professional laundry company

My Dad: The thing I have missed the most about my Dad these past 17 years is his sense of humor. We "got" each other and could make each other laugh when no one else thought the situation was funny.

When I was young, chocolate syrup came in a can, like whipped cream. It was called "Big Shot". One day I hit the nozzle and sprayed the chocolate up onto the 15 foot kitchen ceiling. No one can remember cleaning it off. Every time I moved to a new house, Dad would look at me and say "did you remember to clean the Big Shot off the ceiling?"

The second to last conversation I had with him was to discuss the GIANT pile of poop he found on his front lawn. We were trying to determine if one of his neighbors had gotten a Great Dane...or perhaps a new pet horse! That sent us into a fit of laughing and it still makes me chuckle and puts a little lump in my throat.

Mr Sunshine: I'm not sure how to describe the love he has for his kids. It was definately "on the job training" for him....no one taught him how to be a good dad. He has been an amazing Dad to both kids, but seems to be especially protective of Sorority Girl. She was a very sick baby and he spent a lot of time sitting by her hospital bed and sending me home to sleep or visit my parents and spent her first Thanksgiving sitting by her while I had dinner with my family.

My most vivid memory is the time she was standing against the baby gate in the upstairs hall and it gave way. She started to tumble down the stairs and he leaped over her. He caught her in mid-air and I don't think she hit one single step. I knew then that he would always have her back and try to keep her from getting hurt.

Happy Father's Day. I hope you have good memories of your Dad, or someone who has been like a Dad for you.

Salmonella And Jelly Sammy

We eat a lot of peanut butter. I have a deep love for peanut butter and banana sandwiches. I'm pretty loyal to the Skippy. It's what I grew up on. My Dad's idea of dessert was a slice of white bread with a thick layer of Skippy. I've tried the all-natural stuff at the fresh market, but it just wasn't the same.

Have you ever sat with a jar of Skippy, a knife and a pile of Hershey Kisses and.....No? Is THAT how I got my fat-ass?

Back in January of 2009, Mom came down with a case of Salmonella that we traced back to the deadly jar of Peter Pan Peanut Butter in her kitchen cabinet. She was VERY sick and it took her about a month to get over it. I used to be a microbiology tech so I get a little skittish when the news reports recalls for Salmonella and E.coli

When I heard this week that Skippy was recalling Reduced Fat peanut butter I wasn't too worried about my stash. We buy the full-fat version....HellYeah! But the first thing I did was call Mom to check hers. As soon as I said Salmonella she hobbled to the kitchen and confirmed that she had Skippy Reduced Fat in her closet. Thankfully, none of the expiration dates that are recalled matched the jar in her closet.

Whew! A case of salmonella 6 weeks before her back surgery could have been a disaster.

We can all eat our PBJ's with peace of mind. And my mind can fondly recall my fat ass days of Skippy and Hershey Kisses.

Strokes Of Bad Luck

Thirty-one years ago this week, my Dad had a stroke. He came home from work with the worst headache he had ever experienced. He went to sleep, woke up about 9 hours later, stood up and fell to the floor. He was 49 years old.

He recovered enough to go back to work about 2 months later. His stroke had been on the right side of his brain. He was left with some weakness in his left arm and leg that was most noticeable when he was tired. He never lost his capacity to speak.

About 20 years later, my grandmother had a stroke. She was in her 80's and the stroke damaged the left side of her brain. She was able to speak clearly enough to be understood, but not to produce sensible speech. The way her doctor described it, she had been "hit in the dictionary".

It broke my heart. We never had another serious conversation. My grandmother was my "soul-sister". We had similar physical and emotional illnesses. We loved each other with all our hearts.

She remembered that I had a daughter, but not her name. She would ask, "How is your girl?"
She would get chilled and ask me for her umbrella. Umbrella was a common term for anything that her "dictionary" had erased. She often said something that sounded like "Vantage" but no one ever knew what she was trying to say.

Most of the time when I visited my grandmother, she would take my hand and hold on like she would never let go, while I chatted with my grandfather and tried to include her in the conversation.

My Mom just spent 6 days in the hospital. It has been determined that she suffered 2 small strokes. It is commonly known as TIA (transient ischemic attack). There are not any lingering symptoms, only the knowledge that 50% of the people with TIA will have a larger stroke within a year.

Mom is afraid. All of the test were inconclusive...no brain bleed, no blood clots, no blockages.
We're left with a sense that there may be more strokes of bad luck in our future.

100 Facebook Friends On The Wall

When I started a facebook page I thought I might end up with 15 or 20 friends. One year later, there are 100.



31 of them are my Imaginary Bloggy Friends who also have fb pages. 14 are family members, a few are Sorority Girl's friends, another 19 are past and present co-workers. One of my facebook friends is not even human! The kitty that lives with Sorority Girl and her roomies has his own page.



The last 30 or so are old friends. Some of these people are the kids I spent thousands of hours with, in our neighborhood. They entered my life over 45 years ago. We trade childhood memories and talk about the aging and deaths of our parents. Many of them are high school friends. We graduated 35 years ago andlost track of each other after we all went our separate ways to raise families. Our class hasn't had a reunion for the last 15 years, but we were a very small graduating class (129) and almost everyone is in touch with someone else.

Three people from high school became my facebook friends recently. I have written about one of them here before. We haven't spoken in 35 years and I was shocked to get a facebook friend request from her. The other night we chatted on fb for 2 hours and remembered all the reasons why we were best friends for nearly all of our teenage years.

The second is the couple who double-dated with us for years. They were in our wedding and we have rarely seen each other in the past 25 years. Now that all our children are grown and we're all free to travel, we hope to see each other again.

The third was a "friend suggestion" for someone in our high school class. She was popular and had the most beautiful smile. I clicked the little button that said CONFIRM and discovered that she is very sick. She has been in remission for 19 years and is now fighting for her life again. She survived her first illness because she had the most positive attitude and went on to establish a program for other women that shared her illness.

We have promised her that we'll keep in touch and pray and send positive thoughts and we're thankful for facebook as a way for us to reconnect after all these years

Gracias Por Todo 2009

2009

Wasn't too bad, as far as years go. No major illnesses or disasters for our immediate family.
We moved to a new apartment that we really love. We have jobs.

Here's some of my FAVORITES OF 2009

TV: GLEE. I was a teenage chorus and band room geek. I love the characters (especially Kurt. I want to adopt him). I DVR the episodes, so I can watch a second time.
SONS OF ANARCHY. Sometimes I have to cover my face, because it is that violent, but once again, I love the characters and the storytelling.

BOOKS: SACRED HEARTS by Sarah Dunant. A young woman is sent to a convent against her wishes, in 1570, in Italy.
BITTER IS THE NEW BLACK by Jen Lancaster. She made me laugh out loud, so I read her first 3 books and enjoyed them all.
THE MIDDLE PLACE by Kelly Corrigan. If you have taken care of a parent, you can relate.

BEAUTY PRODUCTS: I started using Patricia Wexler products. We sell them at work, so I was able to sample them before I bought them. They're more expensive than the corner store, but less than department stores. I am completely addicted to her SKIN REGENERATING SERUM (makes your skin feel like satin) and TINTED MOISTURIZER (spf 30 and I threw away all my foundation).

RESTAURANTS: We were in South Beach for the Patriots-Dolphins football game a few weeks ago. We asked the concierge for "the best burger place in South Beach". She sent us to BURGER AND BEER JOINT. It was soooooooooooooo good. They make a 10 pound burger that is the size of a manhole cover. We skipped it, but we heard it had been featured on a Travel Channel show.
In our search for local, authentic Mexican food, we have had a few disappointing meals. Our favorite place went downhill when new owners took over. We recently found GARIBALDI in Apopka FL. This week was our third trip and every meal has been really good.

ADULT BEVERAGE: I'm not a big drinker. YUENGLING will do for beer. PINOT GRIGIO is probably my favorite wine. AMARETTO is my liquor of choice. I have recently discovered I love Amaretto even more when you throw it in some cranberry juice. I'm stocking up on Cranberry juice during the holiday "Buy 1, get 1 free" sales.

FAVORITE BLOG POSTS: The ones I wrote for SORORITY GIRL and CAPE COD KID's birthdays. (Go meet my kids)

BEST NEW EXPERIENCES OF 2009:
Eating an orange I had just picked at the orange grove.
My first NBA basketball game.
My first college football game.
I ate gator and went on an airboat ride.
Joined facebook.

BEST WORK ON A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: 1-1-10, I weighed in at 16 pounds less than I did on 1-1-09!!! 46 down, 24 to go!

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, 2009

*this post idea was inspired by my new favorite bloggy friend, Bunny* (Go meet Bunny)

They're Demanding The Green Bean Casserole

The other night, Sorority Girl was on the phone in my right ear and Mr Sunshine was sitting on my left. We were discussing the Thanksgiving menu.

As if it EVER changes.

TURKEY-this year it is a Honey-Baked Ham Company (pre-cooked! wHOO-Hoo!) Roasted Turkey. Thank you, husband's boss!!
GRAVY-out of the can or jar. I don't make good gravy.
Sweet Potato Casserole-whipped with orange juice, eggs, pecans and brown sugar.

*my husband and daughter have DEMANDED the mini marshmallows on top*

Green Bean Casserole with the Cream of Mushroom Soup and the French's Fried Onion Rings on top.

*I hinted at not making this. I'm SO over it. I had PROTESTS in stereo from my husband and my daughter. My ears are still ringing.

Stuffing-I can make a mean stuffing with Portuguese bread and sausage. Not this year. I think it's going to be Stove-Top.
Cranberry Sauce-Ocean Spray in a can. My mother insists it should be pushed out of the can and sliced. I take it out with a spoon. My mother says "That's NOT how I raised you!!".
Rolls-I thought I would do Pillsbury Crescents, but I was reminded of the 2 dozen Costco rolls in the freezer.
DESSERT-Still under debate. I might pick up a BiggAss Pumpkin Pie from Costco. Or bake a chocolate cake. Or both.

My favorite holiday meal story. One year, we were halfway through dinner, when my mother yelled "I FORGOT THE DAMN COLESLAW!!".
For many years after that, as we were setting the table for a holiday meal, someone would say
"DON'T FORGET THE DAMN COLESLAW!!"

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Time

I went to Costco today. After I grabbed a bucket of Antacid and a 40 pound box of Pain Patches, on my way to the bushels of edamame, I passed the book and music section. I spotted this for $6.99 and added it to the GIANT SHOPPING CART.


I'm so old that any Simon and Garfunkel I've ever owned were on vinyl. I decided I'd like some on my new iPod. I popped it into my CD player and was instantly transported back to my Jr High School years of 1970 and 1971.

Saturday mornings (after I made my bed, dusted my room and practiced piano) were spent in my friend D's bedroom, teaching ourselves how to smoke cigarettes and play guitar. We figured we would be really cool if we could do both of those things. We bought some sheet music and learned I Am A Rock, The Sound Of Silence and Scarborough Fair. We were in the Geek Glee Club and our cool teacher taught us Scarborough Fair to sing in the Spring Concert.

After lunch there were two possible activities. Sometimes we took the bus downtown, tried on jeans at Sawyer's Campus Shop, had dessert in one of the coffee shops, visited D's grandmother in the high-rise apartments, then walked over to the Beauty Salon where her Mom worked and waited to get a ride home.

Other Saturday afternoons were spent at the Roller Rink. We skated in circles for hours...and hours....and hours. We were pretty groovy looking in our scoop-necked bodyshirts (Onesies for teenagers?) and EXTREMELY low-cut jeans with VERY wide bell-bottoms. How low cut, you ask? The zipper was only about 2 inches long. I used to be thin *sigh*

The "couples only" songs were a good excuse to hold hands with boys who were potential boyfriends or really and truly "just friends". I wonder what ever happened to Frank L?

And I bet D doesn't know I grew up and married her ex-boyfriend!

Overheard: The Rest Of The Story

Back in April I used a One Minute Writer prompt of "Overheard" and wrote the following piece. A few people thought I should finish it.

I'm sitting outside my bedroom door, wiping the tears off my cheeks and breathing very quietly. I'm supposed to be in my bedroom, being punished for yet another temper tantrum.

My mother is on the phone with my father's friend. He's a psychiatrist.She asks, without anger in her voice, "What are we going to do with her?"

My high-strung personality began at birth. An insomniac from Day 1, I never slept for any length of time. My Mom called them my cat-naps. My Dad said he watched Johnny Carson with me in his arms every night. I had many temper tantrums. When I was a grown-up and my grandparents and aunts were in their 80's and 90's, they could still recall what a difficult child I had been.

At the time my mother made that phone call, she was probably at her wit's end with me. This was my earliest memory (it came out during a particularly emotional session of psychotherapy). I was probably 3 or 4 at the time and my Mom had 2 more babies after me. She had spent a year raising us alone when my Dad was called to active duty during the Berlin Crisis.

We lived on the 2nd floor of a two-story tenement in the city. Our landlord and his wife lived on the first floor. The wife had threatened to evict my family if they couldn't control my tantrums. Until I started school, I have no memories of what provoked the temper tantrums. My Mom was overwhelmed.

When I was 5, I was enrolled in the Catholic School. Mother Mary Angelique was not amused by my temper tantrums. She had various ways of dealing with them. She always had the class split into GIRLS-GIRLS-GIRLS-Empty Row-BOYS-BOYS-BOYS. Each gender-specific side of the class had 1 or 2 empty seats for the Misbehavers Of The Opposite Sex. I spent a lot of time in an empty seat in the BOYS section, where the meanest of them would poke me and pull my hair. This would cause my temper to flare even higher , scream even louder and guarantee me another day in exile in the BOYS section.

I spent quite a few afternoons with my desk in the coat closet. Mother Mary Angelique was also a firm believer in a swat to the hand with a ruler and a flick of her index finger, right above my ear.
I don't remember ever telling my mother about what went on at school. I figured I deserved it for crying and screaming.

My Mother remembers that after my first year in school, my temper tantrums nearly went away and I was much calmer.

On the outside.

See Jeanne Read

If you were a little Catholic First-Grader in 1963, you didn't learn to read Fun With Dick And Jane. We never knew Dick and Sally.
The Religious Of Jesus And Mary had a different set of Primer Readers. We had
John and Jean and Judy.



The Catholic Church gave Dick and Jane and Sally the aliases of John and Jean and Judy. That was fine with me. There was a girl in a book with my name!!

Our books had stories like John Helps Judy and Jean Helps Mother.
They snuck our Religion studies into our reading books, with titles like God Made Me, God Sees Me, and Judy And Baby Jesus.

Every day, Mother Mary Angelique made us read out loud. That's where my love of reading started. Not to mention my fascination with nuns. Mother Mary Angelique will return in another post about How The Nuns Dealt With Little Girls Who Had Temper Tantrums.

This post was inspired by Mrs Pom's new header and Badger's treasure trove that is turning up in her office.

Overheard: One Minute Writer

I found a new blog today. It is called The One Minute Writer .
She gives you a prompt, you push the timer and write for one minute.
Today's prompt was....

OVERHEARD

I'm sitting outside my bedroom door, wiping the tears off my cheeks and breathing very quietly. I'm supposed to be in my bedroom, being punished for yet another temper tantrum.

My mother is on the phone with my father's friend. He's a psychiatrist.
She asks, without anger in her voice, "What are we going to do with her?"