Did I Tell You About October?

October of 2011 is going down in history as one of the suckiest months...EVER!

When I injured my neck in a car accident in 1980, the neurologist said that at some point in time I would probably develop arthritis in my neck. That time arrived in October. I can't turn my head to look over my shoulder. You don't want to be behind me when I back up the car...just sayin'.

!@#$%&%$#@! computer crash when I clicked on a cute Blog with DIY craft projects. I lost EVERYTHING because I'm one of those fools that never backed up her files.
Goodbye 1000 recipes. Goodbye folder with my favorite 65 blogs. Goodbye every photo I've taken in the past 5 years. Goodbye 2000 songs in iTunes.
There is a special place in hell for people who fuck with other people's computers with viruses.

We played nicely with the IRS. We had to prove we're not hiding money HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
It's a good thing I'm OCD about never throwing away receipts. I could produce almost every piece of paper we needed to produce, going back to 2004. It got schlepped to the lawyer's office in a giant brown shopping bag (because I have a stash of those in the laundry closet). It's over and it's all good.

Remember when I spent April in Massachusetts taking care of my Mom post-back surgery? 6 months later she has fallen, broken something in her hand and her back is in pain. They decided to do a CAT scan to see if she messed up something they already fixed or injured something new. It's something new, but they also found a 2cm mass on one of her Adrenal glands. That explains the high blood pressure, high blood sugar and heart palpitations. We're waiting for an appointment for a biopsy.

I coped with October by breathing deeply, snorting a 1 pound bag of Pretzel Crack&M's and taking epic 4 hour naps.
HELLO NOVEMBER. Happy to see you!

Dear Mom

I'm home. *sigh* I flew back to The Sunshine State on Tuesday because it was the only day I could get a ride to the airport in Boston.

I managed to take care of Mom and be pretty much housebound by the rain and her needs for 17 days without a major meltdown (by me).

Here are a few memos to Mom:

Dear Mom:
Who told you this was a 2 week recovery? We all heard 6 to 8 weeks. Patience, woman. Patience.
Dear Mom:
Cleaning the house at 10:30 pm, the day before your housecleaner comes is crazy and I refuse to participate. She knows you had surgery. She knows you aren't a slob. I don't care if you cry. I'm already in bed for the night.
Dear Mom:
Okay, if it will prevent you from having an anxiety attack, I will clean the garage.
Dear Mom:
I threw away the tube of cortisone cream that expired in 1981. 
Dear Mom:
These kitchen towels have been here since 1962. You have a drawer with 8 new kitchen towels that still have price tags. Explain.
Dear Mom:
No, I don't think you're a hoarder, you just keep stuff WAY beyond it's expiration date.
Dear Mom:
I'm diabetic. So are you. It's NOT okay to eat cookies every day. You can cheat all you want, but don't try to make me feel guilty for not cheating with you.
Dear Mom:
I put 3 ice cubes in your tea. Not 2. Not 4. Yes, I DID just call you a fusspot!
Dear Mom:
If you have to wear jeans and a fleece jacket and wrap up in a blanket, it's TOO COLD to sit on the deck. I'll be in the house. Wrapped up in jeans, a fleece jacket and a blanket.
Dear Mom:
Surgery complications SUCK. I'm sorry you are going through all these setbacks. I can come back in a couple of weeks.
Dear Mom:
If you INSIST on walking down the steep driveway, BRING YOUR CELL PHONE, BRING YOUR CELL PHONE, BRING YOUR CELL PHONE.  I'm almost certain that you'll tumble into the street and need to call someone for help.
Dear Mom:
I'm only a phone call and a 3 hour plane ride away. I love you.

Trapped In Massachusetts

Oh, I could write a VERY long post about all the Massachusetts things that are annoying me...mostly the crappy weather.
I'm also keeping a list of all the things about Massachusetts that I actually DO miss. I got to spend Cape Cod Kid's 26th birthday with him for lunch and an afternoon of buying and assembling deck furniture for Mom.

Mom is having a tough time. She has had 2 infections in her surgical incision. I make a daily trip to Walgreen's, the nurse is here a couple of times a week and the therapists come 4 times a week. If she insists on stumbling around without her cane,I'm going to tie her to a chair with bungee cords. She's playing the "I am not a wimp" card.

I'm planning to fly home on Tuesday.

Springing Mama From The Home

I've been stewing here for 10 days. Mom had back surgery and it went very well. She was released to a Nursing Rehabilitation Facility last weekend and it is Driving. Her. Batshit. Crazy.

I can hear the tension in my siblings voices and I'm pretty useless 1500 miles away, so yesterday Mr Sunshine bought me a one-way ticket on Jet Blue. I'm off to Massachusetts tomorrow morning and hopefully getting her released on Monday. She doesn't know this yet because she has apparently turned off her cell phone.

I'm trying to avoid checking luggage because I will be doing the Planes, (2)Trains and Automobile mode of travel. The weather map in MA for the next 10 days should just say MAJOR SUCK...cloudy, rainy, 50's and 60's. When I think of leaving the blue-sky-sunny, 80's for that I almost want to cry. I'm going to sneak in one last hour of vegging in a lounge chair by the pool this afternoon.

I packed every long sleeved shirt I own...all 4 of them. My little suitcase is too small to fit my one and only sweater. Today I'm going shopping for some kind of rain gear jacket because when I left Cape Cod  I stopped on the Bourne Bridge and threw all that shit into the canal. I'm glad I haven't wasted money on a recent pedicure because my feet will be in shoes and socks for the duration. Should I pack mittens?

My sister predicted that after two days of High-Anxiety-Mom-osity I will be booking my return flight. She suggested a Costco-sized tub of Ativan. I'm already practicing my deep cleansing breaths.

On the plus side, I'll probably get to see the Sweetie Girls (my nieces) and my nephews and I'll be there for Cape Cod Kid's 26th Birthday!! Holy Crap I'm Old!!

The Snowbird Flew Away

I spent last week getting my Mom successfully moved out of the Tin Can Retirement Village. Her place hasn't sold, but she needed to make another trip to MA and decided not to come back...ever.

My youngest brother came down from MA to help me. It was a win-win situation. He helped me ship the last seven boxes and in return got to escape the 32 inches of snow in his front yard. I took him to the Red Sox Spring Training park but we were a day too early to see any action.

When Mom decided not to spend winters in Florida anymore, she asked me to pack "a few personal things" to ship home. She bought the place furnished and all the kitchen stuff came with the house, so she was leaving all that behind. Mom is NOT a hoarder, her house always looks like the cleaning lady just left. But REALLY, MOM? 22 BOXES?? The last two boxes were each big enough to pack a dishwasher and weighed 100 pounds each. My brother was filling them with (I shit you not) beach chairs and lawn statues. If I had been the least bit amused I would have taken photos. I'm sure the local UPS store was happy to make an extra $700 last week.

I dropped them off at the airport, a little worried that I won't be checking up on her every 4 weeks. I'll having to start planning trips to MA...but she has been warned that I may refuse to come up there between October and May.

No sooner did I pull out of the airport and heave a (sort of guilty) sigh of relief that I won't be making the 4 hour drive to South Florida anymore, than I came down with the nasty virus that Mom has been coughing all over me for a week. My ears are clogged, I have a headache and my throat feels like I've been swallowing gasoline.

I'll be hibernating in bed with a few books until this passes.

Life On Hold

Mom is coming back to Florida. No, she's not. Yes, she is. She flew in yesterday.

She's having  back surgery. No, she's not. Yes, she is. No, she's not.
Maybe...Doctor in Florida next week. New Doctor in Boston in Feb.

She's selling her house in FL. No, she's not. Yes, she is.

I'll be spending a lot of time in the little tin can in the Tin Can retirement village.
I WILL scout out a place with internet access.

I Will Survive (and now I'm singing Gloria Gaynor)

Making A List and Checking It Twice

No, not Santa!  Grandma Sunshine is officially settled in The Sunshine State for the winter. This involves a very long chore list and we managed to accomplish everything in about 3 and 1/2 days.

• Finish Christmas shopping for all her 10 grandchildren, wrap all the gifts and box them up to go to UPS. Check
• Wash the ceiling, walls, floor, ceiling fans, rewind all the rolling shades and wash 12 windows in the sunroom/laundry room. Check
• Wreath on the door, Snowman flag on the flagpole, lights on the little tree Check
• Get the car out of the auto shop (fuel pump was dead), take car to carwash, get new parking sticker for car. Check
• Grocery shop at SuperTarget, grocery shop at Winn-Dixie, grocery shop at Publix. Check
• Get flowers for patio pots. Find patio pots and fertilizer in the shed. Check
• Hire a guy to put a TV antenna on the roof, hire a guy to weed the flower beds and trim the shrubs, hire carpet cleaners. Check
• Clean all the A/C vents. Convince Mom to actually TURN ON the A/C when the indoor temperature reached 84 degrees. Check
• Reorganize the pantry closet, plan diabetic menus for 2 weeks, cut up multiple containers of veggies. Check
• Visit the neighbors, ignore the mean relatives who live on the next block (mean relatives are now officially pissed off at us) (we don't really care). Check
• Replace batteries in the clock and the CD player. Find Christmas CDs. Listen to Christmas CDs. Check
• Go out for Breakfast! Go out for LUNCH! Go out for DINNER. Go to the most awesome DOLLAR TREE store ever! (it is brand new and 3 times bigger than most) Check

Whew!!

Strokes Of Bad Luck

Thirty-one years ago this week, my Dad had a stroke. He came home from work with the worst headache he had ever experienced. He went to sleep, woke up about 9 hours later, stood up and fell to the floor. He was 49 years old.

He recovered enough to go back to work about 2 months later. His stroke had been on the right side of his brain. He was left with some weakness in his left arm and leg that was most noticeable when he was tired. He never lost his capacity to speak.

About 20 years later, my grandmother had a stroke. She was in her 80's and the stroke damaged the left side of her brain. She was able to speak clearly enough to be understood, but not to produce sensible speech. The way her doctor described it, she had been "hit in the dictionary".

It broke my heart. We never had another serious conversation. My grandmother was my "soul-sister". We had similar physical and emotional illnesses. We loved each other with all our hearts.

She remembered that I had a daughter, but not her name. She would ask, "How is your girl?"
She would get chilled and ask me for her umbrella. Umbrella was a common term for anything that her "dictionary" had erased. She often said something that sounded like "Vantage" but no one ever knew what she was trying to say.

Most of the time when I visited my grandmother, she would take my hand and hold on like she would never let go, while I chatted with my grandfather and tried to include her in the conversation.

My Mom just spent 6 days in the hospital. It has been determined that she suffered 2 small strokes. It is commonly known as TIA (transient ischemic attack). There are not any lingering symptoms, only the knowledge that 50% of the people with TIA will have a larger stroke within a year.

Mom is afraid. All of the test were inconclusive...no brain bleed, no blood clots, no blockages.
We're left with a sense that there may be more strokes of bad luck in our future.

How I Was A Rotten Mother

Sunday is the 25th Anniversary of my Motherhood. Let me tell you what a rotten mother I have been.

A) I waited until I was 28 to have my first child. I'm glad I had the chance and the choice to enjoy 5 years of being married, lots of vacations, a motorcycle, own our first condo and be cute in my 20's.

B) My kids were sick babies. We spent a lot of time on Pedi floors in hospitals. I was HORRIBLE. I would refuse to leave X-ray and Cat Scan rooms, I would tell doctors on the phone "NO, I am NOT waiting until tomorrow morning to have you see my 5 month old that has a temp of 105!!" On the morning of surgeries, I would refuse to let go of my child until they were appropriately knocked unconscious by pre-op meds.

C) I refused to go back to work for 4 years. This resulted in a $21,000/year reduction in our family income. I still think it was the right thing to do. My mother-in-law disagrees.

D)I let them have a rabbit. That lived in a cage. In our dining room.

E) I made the kids go to church. As soon as humanly possible, they stopped going to church.
I don't even care.

F) I spoil my daughter. She is my only daughter. I feel that her sole purpose in life is to make me laugh. She does this often and she does this well. I repay her by (so far) getting her through 4 years of college with no loans in anybody's name (except short-term loans by Bank of Grandma). I buy her purses and dresses and Sorority Sisters. When she comes to visit we watch marathons of bad reality shows.

G) I left my 21 year old son alone on Cape Cod and moved to Florida. I didn't really think that bird was ready to fly out of the nest, but I pushed him out anyway. He didn't want to move with us and I said "Ba-bye, have fun working 3 jobs to support yourself". 4 years later, he is still flying solo up there. He calls me every Monday night. I'm still not going back!! If he calls me on Mother's Day and asks if he can move here and live with us, I will say yes. And give him a 6-month moving out date.

H) I have started making remarks about the fact that I'm almost 53 and not a grandmother. I completely ignore the fact that there are no current spouses or spousal equivalents in their lives. I completely ignore the fact that neither one of them WANTS to give me a grandchild anywhere in the near future. I just keep making sad puppy-dog eyes every time I hear about someone I know becoming a grandmother. And NO, I DO NOT WANT A PUPPY.

So, there's the evidence of my rotten motherhood.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the Moms, Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the women out there who would have been GREAT Moms.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the women who are mothering children they didn't give birth to.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to women who love our kids like they were their own

Sending My Snowbird Back Home

It's that time of year again. We close up Mom's home in the Tin Can Retirement Village and send her back to Massachusetts, to her summer friends, 3/4 of her children and 9/10 of her grandchildren.

That meant a roadtrip to Fort Myers Beach. Here are the details in a fun little quiz.

Mr Sunshine State did all the driving. Did he choose....
a) the major highway
b) the longest route
c) the "scenic" route

The correct answer is c. The scenic route consists of 1,567,392 orange trees and 4,906 head of cattle.

LMSS has a favorite roadtrip treat. Did I snack on....
a) a Leisure Banana
b) Peanut Crack&M's
c) York Pieces

The correct answer is NOT b, my favorite. I tried c, the York Pieces and I liked them.

LMSS is sure to take a snooze or two on a road trip. How many naps did I take in the 8 hour round trip?
a) 5
b) 2
c) 0

The correct answer is 5. I think I'm a little sleep deprived.

Where did we eat lunch on the way home?
a) Arby's
b) a roadside burrito stand
c) Kooter's Kottage

The correct answer is Arby's. It sounded like the safest choice.

How many suitcases did Grandma Sunshine pack for her trip back to MA?
Bonus points for the closest guess on the combined weight.
a) 1
b) 3
c) 5

The correct answer is 3. It would have been 4, but I took one box of stuff to UPS and shipped it.
BONUS: Total weight of 3 suitcases was 125 pounds. Ask me how my shoulders and neck felt after schlepping them through the airport.

I came home from the airport and took a 7 hour nap!
Goodbye Grandma Sunshine! See you in December! Have a great summer!

Mom's Very Merry Un-birthday

Mom's birthday is in September, but we decided to have her party in August, before the grandchildren all got involved in their school year. That was the first surprise.

She's been telling people that all she wanted for her 75th birthday was to be with all her family. We managed to get all of her children, 8 of her 1o grandchildren and 1 of her sisters to the party.

She had no idea that we had also invited a family friend that Mom has known for 53 years. They were neighbors when they were both newlyweds and through the years they were often pregnant at the same time. Also at the party were 2 couples that live in MA during the summer and are Mom's winter neighbors in FL.

Here's the birthday girl with her cake....

With all her kids.....

And her grandkids.....

And her family and friends....

She laughed a lot. I had mailed small blue cards to all the invited guests and asked them to share a memory of Mom and add a birthday message. She was teary as she read all the messages, especially from family and friends who couldn't make the party.

She says it was her best (un)birthday ever. I promised her that we wouldn't forget her REAL birthday next month.

The So-Not-A-Vacation Chronicles

I've been here in Dial-up-Internet Land for 12 days. I need a vacation.

I've accomplished almost all of my Mom's Honey-do list, with the exception of washing all her windows.
I spent 2 days cleaning up 5 years worth of crapola off her computer.
I cleaned her garage and the attic.

The SURPRISE birthday party was a hit.
I've seen 6/8 of my nieces and nephews and all of my aunts.
I had lunch with The Golden Girls (Mom, her sister and 2 of Mom's friends..all over 70 yrs old)

I got to meet Cape Cod Kid's girlfriend. He's in love. She's sweet.

Excitement is happening. My nephew, the fashion model, got a job appearing in a music video that was played on the big screen at a concert and then was hired to be in a documentary about the concert.
Did you know that fashion models that appear in music videos and documentaries get paid
$800 a DAY!!!!!!

His twin brother got a job at the Park Plaza hotel in Boston. He's NOT making $800 a day.

I have eaten fried clams and steamed clams. Today's menu is clam cakes (otherwise known as fritters) I have also eaten Linguica, which is Portuguese sausage, which is apparently not exported to the state of Florida,

Last Friday, I spent the day in a car with my 3 most negative relatives, who shall remain nameless. Then for the next 2 days I had a screaming migraine headache. These 2 events may or may not be related.

Beware of evil MOSQUITOES! Mom got bitten by a mosquito. By the next morning, her entire shin was hot and red and seriously infected. We've been to the lab and doctor's office twice and she has another week of medication left to take.

The only thing left for me to whine about is the weather. 90 degrees inside and outside of the house.
Mom HATES A/C.

That's all.

I May As Well Get Out Of Town

I'm not working lately. Surprise, Surprise!

This seems to be the norm here in the Summer Retail Sunshine State. I'm working less than 10 hours a week and this is how I'm spending most of my time.

• up to my neck in the condo pool (today there was serious lizard sex going on, 2 feet from my chair),
• on facebook
• discussing family genealogy with my brother (we may be part Canadian Indian and we are definately descendants of Acadian people who were exiled from Nova Scotia-like the characters in Longfellow's poem about Evangeline)
• playing MahJong Solitaire online ( I was ranked #37,000 in the world today)
• reading....loved The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society and laughed my ass off at Bitter Is The New Black. I'm halfway through Bright Lights, Big Ass.
• getting hooked on Ruby. I watched all of last season and started watching this season. She has lost over 350 pounds!!

Since I'm not working.....and it's summer (it BETTER be warm and sunny), I decided to turn my trip to MA from 1 week into 2 weeks in August. We're planning an early surprise 75th birthday party for my Mom, a little time on the Cape and see CAPE COD KID, and hopefully all my nieces and nephews and siblings.

Would you believe I lived in MA for 49 years and NEVER went to Lexington and Concord? My darling Revolutionary War fan Daddy probably just rolled over in his grave when I said that. I'm going to spend a day or 2 up there.

Mom has her usual Honey-Do list for me. Wash her windows, go up and get stuff out of the attic...which is actually a good thing. I want to see if there are any old family photos up there and make copies for myself.

And of course, once again I'll be in the Land Of Dial-Up Internet.

Throw Momma On The Plane

My snowbird Momma left The Sunshine State this morning for Barely Spring Massachusetts.
Before Momma left we had to charge up her cell phone and her mp3.
I had to convince Momma that she couldn't take 3 carry-on bags, so we had to repack her 2 suitcases and find room for the 5 pairs of shoes and a couple of books and her bag-o-craft projects and 5 pairs of shorts and 5 shirts that were in her 3rd carry-on bag.
I couldn't convince Momma that it's not really practical to relocate your ENTIRE wardrobe every 6 months.
Bag #1 weighed 49.999 pounds and the guy who checked her bags said I should play that number in the lottery.

She says she's never coming back. It's too far to the airport. It's too far from the parking garage to check-in. It's too far from the check-in to Security. Then she has to face the indignity of the full body bomb scan because her two bionic knees set off the metal detector. It's too far from Security to the gate.

Update: This year, the remaining contents of Mom's fridge and freezer are now in MY fridge and freezer. As in.....I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, Lean Pockets, Cheese wrapped in plastic, frozen hot dogs, canned parmesan cheese, microwavable frozen french fries and a bag of mini Milky Way bars (that last one isn't such a tragedy)

Bye Momma. I love you. Have a great summer. See you in October.

More Museum Of The Sixties

Last week I showed you some of the things in my Mom's
MUSEUM OF THE SIXTIES .
I saved one last exhibit, because it deserved a post of it's own. Mom still has THIS.



The Modern Medical Encyclopedia. Published in 1965.
Now, whenever Mom needs some up-to-date medical information, she can look it up. Like these priceless bits of wisdom.

The definitive diagnosis for many diseases is X-RAYS or EXPLORATORY SURGERY. (VOL 4)
LIFE EXPECTANCY in the U.S. is 65 years. (now it is 77. my family tends to live into their 90's...we call 65, "Just gettin' started")
CONTACT LENSES are available, made of glass.
There is an extensive section on CHICKEN POX (VOL 3). Do kids still get Chicken Pox? They invented the vaccine the year AFTER my kids had Chicken Pox.

When I got to the part in VOL 12....Titled WOMEN'S HEALTH....I nearly freaked. I had to freak quietly, because Mom was sleeping in her recliner.

This chapter held such gems as....
SOME WOMEN may choose to actually be awake for childbirth.
When planning on using CONTRACEPTIVES, women should consult their religious advisor for guidance.
They had a specific paragraph warning that ABORTIONS were considered illegal and criminal.
AND....THE MENOPAUSE may be treated with a series of HORMONE INJECTIONS and a prescription for MILD TRANQUILIZERS.

So, if you need some cutting-edge medical advice, hop on over to Mom's Museum Of The Sixties. Tell her Sunshine sent you.

Oh. One more thing. If you have to go to the hospital and your nurse walks in looking like this.....

Tell her to go find Peabody and Sherman They'll get her safely back to 1965.

Photos: Mom's Museum of the Sixties

The munchkin on the right is me, taken around 1960. When I visit Mom, I find lots of things in her house that belong in a Museum of the Sixties. I didn't take pictures of all the bottles of expired medication that I threw away. I didn't want her to catch me tossing them in the trash.

I also didn't take a picture of the little tin full of rubber bands that turned into a pile of yellow dust when I touched them. I did manage to snap a few pics of the other exhibits while Mom was napping.

Ceramics class. 1966.Piggybank. To commemorate the birth of my youngest brother.

A drawer full of staples. Boxes that have never been opened. 90 cents a box.

Mom played trumpet in high school and also in the town band where I grew up.

The trumpet has been passed down to my nephew, but she has a drawer full of sheet music from the 1930's to the 1970's. The paper is yellow and brittle and the songs have long been forgotten.

Oooh, the oldest things in the house. The GOOD GLASSES! The ones with the metallic fish and the silver rims. A wedding gift from 1956. Never to be used by the children. Only taken out of the cupboard when Dad's National Guard or high school buddies were in town and came for a visit. Dad would ask..."Beer or Highball?"

Mom has been putting these torture devices in her hair for decades.

At one time, Mom used this for everything. Bug bites, bruises, sunburn, poison ivy. I found this in the garage. I'm not sure what she's using it for these days.

I saved the best for last. THE MODERN MEDICAL ENCYCLOPEDIA. 1965.

I spent a rainy afternoon reading some of the entries. It deserves it's own blog.

Any day now.

Going Home To My Sunshine

Today is my last day of taking care of Mom. I will miss her. She recovered amazingly well from the surgery, but other aspects of her health are still a problem.

I will not miss grey skies, asthma, daily healthcare issues.

I know that after I leave, she will not eat. She will drive before the doctor-approved date of July 15th. My siblings will not call to see how she is doing. They are good people, just have super busy lives and families and jobs.

I got to see my favorite aunt and uncle and all my nieces and nephews and go to the BIG BIRTHDAY BASH for the nephews...20 yr old twins and another one turning 13.

I missed my husband like crazy. I missed my cat. I missed my little apartment. I even missed my job.

I got to see my Cape Cod Kid. It was hard to say good-bye last night, knowing I probably won't see him until January.

Next pics and reports will be from The Sunshine State.

Calling From Dial-Up Internet Land

THIS IS A TEST OF THE DIAL-UP INTERNET SYSTEM OF THE SUNSHINE REHABILITATION SERVICE!
HELLO OUT THERE!!

Mom is home and we are settling into a routine. Meals, laundry, exercises, meds.
In between, I make runs to pick up prescriptions and other medical supplies.

Every day involves phone calls to doctors, therapists and visiting nurses.
(I didn't realize visiting nurses do their rounds in jogging suits.)

Oxycontin and Oxycodone will snow the crap out of a senior citizen.

I would post a picture of the lovely plate of brownies that a neighbor brought when she visited.
They all got eaten before the camera was unpacked.

I'm compiling a list of all the old, dried up, expired stuff I'm digging out of her drawers and cupboards. It's like a freaking Museum Of The Sixties.

One last thought: NEW ENGLAND WEATHER SUCKS.
Little Miss SUNSHINE State needs SUNSHINE.

Mothering My Mother

Alternate Title: How I'll be spending the rest of June.

In the past 23 years and 2 months, since I became a mother, there have been many phone conversations that sounded like this:

Me: Mom?
Mom: I'm on my way.

When my son was 5 weeks old and we were speeding to Boston with a sick baby, Mom and Dad nearly beat us to the ER. When I thought my daughter was arriving a week early, Mom arrived about 30 minutes before I went into labor.
When I herniated 2 discs in my back, 5 weeks after my daughter was born, Mom arrived to take care of a 3 year old and a infant.
Since Mom has been alone for 13 years, I have become very protective.

Now there are phone conversations that sound like this:
Mom: Jeanne?
Me: I'm on my way.

In Mom's family, you celebrate being in your 70's by getting shiny, new knees.
She had her first replacement 4 years ago and is having her second knee replaced next week. I've been losing a little sleep over this.
Her pre-existing medical issues have been addressed. I'm losing sleep over the fact that she is dealing with Dr Arrogant Surgeon and his able Physician's Assistant Calvin Clueless.

Calvin Clueless believes that Ambien is no different than Benadryl. He is also pretty sure that Dilaudid is not stronger than Morphine.
Calvin is making me a little nervous. My sister the RN has the assignment to Watch Mom Breathe for the first 24 hours after the surgery.
Then, I'll be going to MA for the post-surgical three weeks or so.

Mom is still living in the dial-up internet age. If I attempt to blog, it would take a day or 2 to download. She also lives in a little town with no local coffee shop/bakery places with free wi-fi. I found the address for the library and may try to get over there once or twice to get on-line.

See you in July.
Little Miss Sunshine State

My Long Line Of Moms

These are the Moms who have come before me. The top one is my GrandMemere. Her name was Blanche Eva. When I was a little girl she lived with my grandparents, but was already suffering from senile dementia, so I never really knew her. I believe this picture was taking in 1898 and may have been her engagement picture. I LOVE her hair and I know where my curls come from. She had a full head of snow white hair until she died when I was about 7.


The middle one is my Memere. Her name was Bernadette. After she died I found out her REAL name was Nina Bernadette. I loved her so much. She left school after 8th grade and worked in the cloth mills until she retired. She liked to read and do embroidery and sew. I still have the quilts she cross-stitched for my babies. I think she was sad a lot. I think she was smart enough to have been anything she wanted to be. In her 80's she suffered a stroke and although she could still speak, her "dictionary" was damaged. At the end, all I could do for her was sit with her. We would hold hands so tight, like we never wanted to let go. The memory of it still makes me cry. She died 9 years ago when she was 88. I still miss her very much.


The one on the bottom is Pauline Marie. My Mom. She's a smart cookie, too. That's her high school graduation picture. My grandfather wouldn't let her go to college, even though she would have loved it. Instead, she got married and spent the next 45 years taking care of everyone except herself. First 4 kids, then my Dad and her parents. Dad had a stroke when he was 49 and Mom was not quite 45. Dad made a good recovery, but Mom always slept with "one eye open" after that. Mom has always had a fascination with learning, especially about medical issues. She has been on her own for almost 14 years now. She needs a t-shirt that says "you've come a long way baby".

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.