My Thanksgiv...ummm Valentine's Loves

This morning Mr Sunshine wished me a Happy Valentine's Day and I wished him a Happy Thanksgiving. In my defense, it was before my morning bucket of coffee.

I don't have a recent photo of my #1 love, but he is sporting some new facial hair. He won't mind if I show you a snap of his new Cigar blog. Tell your cigar-smoking loved ones!

My #2 family love is also sporting facial hair...

 Guess which family love did this?...

That would be my #3 love

Look how big my #4 love has gotten!...

She has doubled her weight in the past month. She's BATSHIT CRAZY for the first 45 minutes we are up in the morning, but then she settles herself under my chin for a nap while I drink my bucket of coffee and play on the computer.

Speaking of batshit crazy...I had a spell of it last week. I woke up with my ponytail in my mouth and the kitty had been thinking it was a cool toy. I walked into the hairdresser and said "Get rid of this!!!!!" I had another 8 inches of hair cut off...
Needs more layers.

I asked Mr Sunshine to please not spend money on flowers and a card today. All I wanted was a manicure, so he left $20 on my bedside table. I'm a happy, happy girl.

Happy THANKSGIV....ummm Valentine's Day to you and all your loves.

Hello 2012!

Dear 2012.
Be nice to me. 2011 wasn't exactly the best year of my life.
On one hand, I WORKED ZERO DAYS because my spine was busy deteriorating.
On the other hand, I worked zero days because MY SPINE WAS BUSY DETERIORATING.

I didn't do anything on my 2011 to-do list. I'm not making any resolutions or even a to-do list for 2012. This way, whatever  I do this year will be an accomplishment.

Want to see what I got for Christmas?

The Kindle Fire was a surprise from Mr Sunshine and I'm enjoying it more than I thought I might. The Willow Tree box is from my sister, the earrings (and the Adele21 CD) were from Sorority Girl and the scarf was from my best friend. She got it for me when she went on a business trip to Kuala Lumpur and went shopping in the marketplaces.

Shall we discuss my hair? I hadn't had a trim in at least 7 months and it was not a pretty sight. Today I let Thomas The Stylist do his magic. He cut 3 inches off the back and worked in a bunch of layers. We will all ignore the color and 4 inches of roots, because I'm giving up coloring my hair...20 years of hair dye is ENOUGH. I can't believe it's still this long after losing 3 inches!

One more thing...arriving Tuesday night.....

Look at the tree behind Cape Cod Kid!! They think it was mangled by some drunk stumbling down Main St.
He's coming for a week with Cape Cod Girlfriend! We'll eat, drink, maybe go to the beach, shopping, visit Mr Sunshine's mom, and WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wrapping Up The Thanksgiving Leftovers

We had our usual quiet 3 person Thanksgiving.
Mr Sunshine got up at the crack of night to play golf while Sorority Girl and I slept late. While I ate breakfast she read the Black Friday ads. I NEVER shop on BF,so I've never read the BF ads.

SG: WOW! Waffle Irons are $2.84 at WalMart!
SG: WOW! Candles are more expensive than Waffle irons, they're $4.96
SG: WOW! Boxer shorts are more expensive than Waffle irons. You have a waffle iron, how come you never make me homemade waffles?
LMSS: Hmmmm. How much are boxer shorts? Is there more than one in a package?
SG: Boxer shorts are $4.97
SG:(Wide-eyed exclamation) Oh My God!! SOCKS ARE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN WAFFLE IRONS!!!!!
That's when I snorted so hard that coffee sprayed out of my nose and mouth all over the crossword puzzle and the 6 inch pile of BF ads.

Sorority Girl wants you to know that the Belk ads had some hot guy models....except the one that was too good-looking to have a Henley shirt tucked into his high-waisted jeans. That was just wrong.

We ate Turkey, green bean casserole (so Mr S and SG wouldn't attack me with a carving knife and serving fork), Stove Top Stuffing, Cranberry sauce, butternut squash, Brown and Serve rolls, Almost Sugar-free Pumpkin Pie made by moi with Sugar-free Cool Whip. We drank Sugar-free A&W cream soda, Barefoot Pinot Grigio and Coffee with Kahlua and Sugar-free Peppermint Mocha Coffe-Mate. It was a Very Diabetic Thanksgiving.

We watched the Macy's Parade, the AKC Dog show, the Packers game, zzzzzz The inside of our eyelids in turkey-induced comas.....the Dallas/Miami game and....

ELF!! I had never seen it before but now it will be one of my favorites...Zooey Deschanel and Buddy the Elf.....love it!

I'm thankful for my family(who give me way more support than I deserve), friends, Muscle relaxers, pain killers and arthritis meds, not needing cervical spine surgery for the foreseeable future, the place I live and the public library.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

File under: Scary Stuff-the 2011 edition

I found a SNOOKI in my bathroom. We really needed to do another layer or two...or three of spray tan.

                                         I snagged this pic from the Orlando Sentinel website.

HOW SCARY IS THAT SNAKE????!!! They found it in the Everglades. It was still alive and had swallowed a 76 pound female deer....WHOLE! (93 Weight Watcher Points if you're counting)

The state is on a mission to eradicate the pythons and boas in the Everglades. They are all former "pets" and now I believe they really could swallow someone's dog or a medium-sized child.

Have a fun and not-so-scary Halloween!!

No GRUMPS Allowed Today

Almost every month I check out the calendar that lists some offbeat and traditional holidays.

The first week of May is ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION AWARENESS WEEK.
Week? I'm aware and celebrate that one every day! Thank the gods of pharmaceuticals for my daily dose. Amen.

For those of us that tend to be chronically grumpy, did you know that May 4th is THE GREAT AMERICAN GRUMP OUT? I found this on the website http://www.smilemania.com/

                The 10th annual     
GREAT AMERICAN GRUMP OUT                
Wednesday, May 4, 2011.

The Grump Out asks all you sour pusses to suck it up and refrain from getting your grump on -- at least for 24 hours.

That includes no grumping, no frowning, no grousing, complaining, punching, slapping, hitting or killing. FOR ONE WHOLE DAY.


I guess I'll celebrate that one by remembering my daily dose of anti-grump meds.I had 2 cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee with breakfast.Taking a walk helps. Seeing the 6 new baby ducks in the pond made me smile. So does smelling the giant Magnolia blossoms in the trees. And a sugar-free Fudgsicle. I'll watch my DVR'd episodes of Bethenny Ever After.

 I will not think about how much I'm craving a Hostess Cupcake. I will not stare at my camera and cry (I dropped it. With the zoom lens fully extended. *sigh*). I will not shake my head at my hideous toes that need a manicure.

Dammit, I WILL smile and set aside my grumpiness.

Just for today. Tomorrow it's back to being my grumpy old self.

Valentine Rhyme

Roses are red
I'm wearing blue
My forehead is hot
I might have the flu

I have a sweetheart
Mr Sunshine is mine
We're not celebrating
He's working til 9

We can't eat chocolate
We're both diabetic
Sugar-free pudding
Is really pathetic

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

When The Kids Are Here

•  I still call them "the kids" even though they are 22 and 25
• The little treehouse apartment is very crowded
• There are blankets and pillows on every surface of the place

•  You ask random strangers to take a family photo at Downtown Disney
• There are dinner table conversations about how it is skanky to give a girl something from Victoria's Secret, but it is perfectly acceptable to give her a gift card from the same store!
• You watch Twas The Night Before Christmas and The Wiz
• You watch You Tube videos of an Asian toddler singing Hey Jude and Star Wars Episode IV According To a 3 year old
• You watch the Christmas episode of GLEE 3 times

•  You drag Cape Cod Kid on a road trip to see Manatees
• You drag Cape Cod Kid on a 2 mile walk
• You drag Cape Cod Kid on a daily trip to the grocery store
• There's too much food in the fridge
• There's too much laundry in the hamper

• There's TOO MUCH SUGAR!
• There are not enough HUGS
• When you wake up on Dec. 30, the house is too quiet!

I Was (Christmas) Gifted! UPDATED!

I must have been a good girl this year. The gifts I got for Christmas were so thoughtful that it made me a little teary.

Cape Cod Kid arrived with a new addition to my snowman collection. It's Frosty! He sings and dances! I have probably worn out his batteries watching him sing and dance since the 25th.

 My sister makes gorgeous scrapbooks. She taught me, but mine are so amateur looking compared to hers. She sent me a scrapbook she started that is supposed to be all about me. That concept will be a little difficult for me to pull off. Each page has a pocket and one of them held this photo of my sister and I that was taken in 1960. I'm on the left, she's on the right. I was 3 and she was 2. We thought that rock in our grandmother's backyard was HUGE!

Sorority Girl has worked at a clothing store for about 4 years. She puts together great outfits. Before this year I usually wore baggy clothes to cover my 2X sized body. Since I've lost weight, she has been telling me I need a shopping trip for cute clothes. She bought me this beautiful beaded blouse and a cute sweater that will show up in a future post.

 My best friend (of 30 years) sent this paperweight to let me know that even though we have only lived in the same state for about 7 years of our friendship, I am always in her heart.

This was a gift from Mr Sunshine. I spend WAY TOO MUCH time sitting under my laptop. This computer was passed on to me from my darling husband when my power port died for the 3rd time and he was able to get himself a new laptop. This one runs a little hotter than my old one and I was developing a chronic first-degree burn on my left leg. This little cooling pad is awesome and I can finally stop frying my thighs! UPDATED!!!!!
MR SUNSHINE LEFT A COMMENT BECAUSE I FORGOT THAT SANTA BROUGHT US WICKED GOOD TICKETS FOR WICKED GOOD SEATS TO SEE WICKED!!!

On top of all this, I got a Barnes and Noble giftcard from Cape Cod Kid, $$ from my MIL that i used to buy a Shiatsu Massage Pillow and a Target gift card from my Mom that she got me after a discussion about how badly I want to do a closet makeover in January.

I apparently have a "good girl"  reputation to uphold in 2011!!

Scary Stuff!

In the spirit of Halloween, I present to you....

SCARY STUFF!

Cockroaches? Please, I live in a condo in Florida. They fall out of the air conditioning vents. I squish them under my flip-flops and take pleasure in the crunch.

Her? One of my secret talents is a mean impression of her. "I'll get you my pretty....and your little dog, too"

Zombies? I don't think so. I worked in a hospital. When I trained as a lab tech, the students covered the ER one day a week. I've seen plenty of bloody bodies.

Oh Dear. This is kind of scary. This kind of stuff has the power to hypnotize me and force me to eat it. Last year we had ZERO trick-or-treaters. Last night, at the Tarzhay, this frightening voice whispered my name "Buy me, take me home, EAT ME YOU DESPERATE DIABETIC".

I have it locked in the closet, but I hear it scratching against the door.

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! That's my closet. It's a Walk-In but I haven't actually walked in there since April. It's a project for November. Until then, I get the shivers every time I walk by the open door.

NaBloPoMo...National Blog Posting Month...I'm a little scared, but I'm going to give it a try. I'm putting a twist on it. Every day will be 5 Things On A Specific Topic. So far I have come up with 10 days of topics. Stay Tuned.

Nothing Says Mother's Day Like....

Nothing says Mother's Day like....

Having your 22 year-old Daughter sleep with you the night before. Mr Sunshine is rocking the Worst Sinus Infection in History and has been banished to the guest room for the past week. Sorority Girl loves our Sleep Number Bed. Especially her dad's side of the bed. His Sleep Number is so low that she calls it The Bed Canoe.

Having your 25 year-old son call to say Happy Mother's Day and his next sentence is "OH! OH! Last night at work I was a witness to an attempted murder stabbing!!!" I'm guessing that next year my Mother's Day call will be from some location in the Witness Protection Program.

Having your 14 year-old cat use the Litter Box!!! This is HUGE news, since the only place he has poo'ed or pee'd in the past month has been in the dining room or the hallway in front of the bathroom door. I discovered that he will actually go into the bathroom if the floor is covered in Puppy Training Pads. It looks so elegant. We're being featured in the next issue of House Beautiful Magazine.

Having your 75 year- old Mom spend Mother's Day sitting in the hospital with her baby sister. This is my aunt that has been very ill since last December. She is still hanging in there with all the complications of her illness and is now facing a possible amputation this week. We all had lumps in our throats after the phone call.

Having your own 52 year-old butt haul off to work at 5:30pm for an 8 hour shift. Flip-flops were probably not the best shoe choice. I tackled one display table that I had to pull out of the creative cesspool of my brain, because I had no company direction. Then I tackled the BEAST known as the OCTAGON. If you have been in the Shower Gel Store, the octagon is that fixture that has 8 sides and holds about 10,972 bottles of shower gel, lotion and body mist. I hobbled home on my Flip-Flop-Feet at 1:30am, ate a Carrot Cupcake, did a load of laundry and hobbled off to bed.

Hope you all had a fabulous Mother's Day.

How I Was A Rotten Mother

Sunday is the 25th Anniversary of my Motherhood. Let me tell you what a rotten mother I have been.

A) I waited until I was 28 to have my first child. I'm glad I had the chance and the choice to enjoy 5 years of being married, lots of vacations, a motorcycle, own our first condo and be cute in my 20's.

B) My kids were sick babies. We spent a lot of time on Pedi floors in hospitals. I was HORRIBLE. I would refuse to leave X-ray and Cat Scan rooms, I would tell doctors on the phone "NO, I am NOT waiting until tomorrow morning to have you see my 5 month old that has a temp of 105!!" On the morning of surgeries, I would refuse to let go of my child until they were appropriately knocked unconscious by pre-op meds.

C) I refused to go back to work for 4 years. This resulted in a $21,000/year reduction in our family income. I still think it was the right thing to do. My mother-in-law disagrees.

D)I let them have a rabbit. That lived in a cage. In our dining room.

E) I made the kids go to church. As soon as humanly possible, they stopped going to church.
I don't even care.

F) I spoil my daughter. She is my only daughter. I feel that her sole purpose in life is to make me laugh. She does this often and she does this well. I repay her by (so far) getting her through 4 years of college with no loans in anybody's name (except short-term loans by Bank of Grandma). I buy her purses and dresses and Sorority Sisters. When she comes to visit we watch marathons of bad reality shows.

G) I left my 21 year old son alone on Cape Cod and moved to Florida. I didn't really think that bird was ready to fly out of the nest, but I pushed him out anyway. He didn't want to move with us and I said "Ba-bye, have fun working 3 jobs to support yourself". 4 years later, he is still flying solo up there. He calls me every Monday night. I'm still not going back!! If he calls me on Mother's Day and asks if he can move here and live with us, I will say yes. And give him a 6-month moving out date.

H) I have started making remarks about the fact that I'm almost 53 and not a grandmother. I completely ignore the fact that there are no current spouses or spousal equivalents in their lives. I completely ignore the fact that neither one of them WANTS to give me a grandchild anywhere in the near future. I just keep making sad puppy-dog eyes every time I hear about someone I know becoming a grandmother. And NO, I DO NOT WANT A PUPPY.

So, there's the evidence of my rotten motherhood.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the Moms, Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the women out there who would have been GREAT Moms.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the women who are mothering children they didn't give birth to.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to women who love our kids like they were their own

This Is Dedicated To The One I Love

I'll always love you for the rest of my days

You have won my heart and my soul with your sweet, sexy ways

You gave me hope when I needed someone near

You bring me happiness every day of every year

I'll always love you for all that you are

You have made my life complete. You're my lucky star

You are the one I've been searching for

You are my everything, tell me who could ask for more

And I'll always love you, this will never end

I need you by my side, Honey, you're my lover, my friend

My friend

You gave my world a thrill I've never known

And filled my eager heart with a love to call my own

And I'll always love you, you must know how much I do

You can count on me forever, and I will take good care of you

I'll always love you, I'm so happy that you're mine

I'll always love you, yes, til the end of time

~I'll Always Love You by Taylor Dayne~

Christmas Wrap-Up

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Ours was quiet, as usual.

Sorority Girl and Cape Cod Kid were here. They make me smile and laugh. They got tattoos together. We watched movies and episodes of GLEE that were still on the DVR. They introduced me to Tough Love and True Blood (both are kind of yucky).

We got a Wii from Santa. Back in November, a local blogger invited me to a Wii Fit launch party and I received a free Wii Fit! I know!!! I haven't used it yet, because I have the plague.

I worked full-time for a week or two before Christmas. I'm WAY too old for that. I don't think handling thousands of dollars of filthy money is good for someone who tends to have a wonky immune system. I had the hand sanitizer close by, I washed my hands every time I could break away and my mantra was "keep hands away from face....ohmmmm".

The Sunday before Christmas, I started wheezing. That continued until yesterday morning, at 4AM, when I woke up and coughed up half a lung. Thank Baby Jesus In The Manger, I had a $144 rebate check from my car insurance company. I still live in the Land Of The Uninsured.
Diagnosis: Asthma AND Bronchitis. Double the pleasure, Double the fun.

Doctor's fee=$123
Advair Inhaler=free (Love you, Dr Cool)
Ventolin Inhaler=$10 (Thank you, WMART)
Antibiotic=$4 (ditto)
Steroids=$4 (ditto)
Apple juice (I'm on clear liquids) $2.99

You do the math.

Thank you for all your prayers for my aunt. She had a serious setback on the 22nd, but still went home on Christmas Eve. I talked to her the other night and they have made adjustments to her treatment. She sounds good, but I am fully aware that she is in the end stage of her illness.

I'm working on my "Best of 2009" post.

Photos: O Christmas Tree (Ornaments)

Our ornaments are a mixed bag. My Mom has bought the kids an ornament each year from birth to age 18. I have bought ornaments that made me laugh. Some are signs of where we live.




Jingle Bell Mickey Ears This is NOT me at New Smyrna Beach!

Pretty Starfish from Fort Myers Beach

Santa plays for the PATRIOTS!

He has a Black Belt

He goes Fishing

My Christmas Wishes Come True

I only had two wishes this Christmas.

They have both already happened.

My aunt has responded to treatment, woke up and talked to her sisters, and may be going home for Christmas.

My Cape Cod Kid arrived last night. When I saw him across the crowded airpot I thought it was Opie from Sons of Anarchy (minus the scraggly beard).

Last night we sat in the living room drinking hot cocoa with marshmallows. He's very thin but Mama will take care of that!

Holiday House Tour Rerun

I hereby apologize for this rerun of last year's house tour.
Same wreath, same tree, same snowmen, same cat....new apartment.

This is why.....
Broken computer power cord (third cord in 3 years...I can't get to my photo files)
Chrissmassy Cat went on a 4 day hunger strike and lost 6 pounds.
Working full time (because my daughter and all my money go to University of Tropical Paradise)

And this.....my mother's baby sister is 11 years younger than Mom and 12 years older than me.
She was as much my Mom's baby as she was my grandmother's baby.
She is as much my big sister as she is my aunt.
She may not live until Christmas and Mom and I are so sad.

Say a little prayer, light a little candle and go see my pics from last year.

Christmas Angels

She didn't know she was going to be a Mom this Christmas.

He's 7 and his Mom doesn't want him anymore. His aunt loves him very much and now it looks like she'll be his Mom.

She has joined the ranks of single women trying to raise a child by herself. She isn't sure how she's going to do it on the salary of an elementary school teacher, in a district where most of her students come from poor families. She had planned to spend some money buying gifts for all the children in her class.

She told him he had to make a very small wish list for himself because she would only have about $40 to spend on gifts. He told her that he wanted to spend $20 of that money on a Christmas Angel gift for another child.

When her friends heard that he was willing to give up half of his Christmas for another child, they were so touched and so proud of him. They dug into their pockets and came up with $100 to buy a gift card for her to buy him some Christmas gifts. One of the friends told her children and they each decided to put some of the money from their piggy banks into a jar for the little boy's Christmas. Another friend put together a box of food.

Today they told her that they wanted to help give her new son a better Christmas. When she realized what they were telling her, she broke down and sobbed. All she could say was "Oh my God, you have no idea, you have no idea".

She told her friends that they were her Christmas Angels. They know that SHE is really a Christmas Angel.

They helped to change a little boy's Christmas.

She's going to change a little boy's life.

I Want An Alien For Christmas!

Every time this song comes on at work, I start dancing around the store.
I'm 52 and overweight. It's not pretty. But it makes my co-workers laugh.
At least the ones that have a sense of humor.

Enjoy!

They're Demanding The Green Bean Casserole

The other night, Sorority Girl was on the phone in my right ear and Mr Sunshine was sitting on my left. We were discussing the Thanksgiving menu.

As if it EVER changes.

TURKEY-this year it is a Honey-Baked Ham Company (pre-cooked! wHOO-Hoo!) Roasted Turkey. Thank you, husband's boss!!
GRAVY-out of the can or jar. I don't make good gravy.
Sweet Potato Casserole-whipped with orange juice, eggs, pecans and brown sugar.

*my husband and daughter have DEMANDED the mini marshmallows on top*

Green Bean Casserole with the Cream of Mushroom Soup and the French's Fried Onion Rings on top.

*I hinted at not making this. I'm SO over it. I had PROTESTS in stereo from my husband and my daughter. My ears are still ringing.

Stuffing-I can make a mean stuffing with Portuguese bread and sausage. Not this year. I think it's going to be Stove-Top.
Cranberry Sauce-Ocean Spray in a can. My mother insists it should be pushed out of the can and sliced. I take it out with a spoon. My mother says "That's NOT how I raised you!!".
Rolls-I thought I would do Pillsbury Crescents, but I was reminded of the 2 dozen Costco rolls in the freezer.
DESSERT-Still under debate. I might pick up a BiggAss Pumpkin Pie from Costco. Or bake a chocolate cake. Or both.

My favorite holiday meal story. One year, we were halfway through dinner, when my mother yelled "I FORGOT THE DAMN COLESLAW!!".
For many years after that, as we were setting the table for a holiday meal, someone would say
"DON'T FORGET THE DAMN COLESLAW!!"

Just Say NOvember

I've been quiet. Yes, I'm sure any family members that are reading this are laughing out loud. "Jeanne?? Quiet?? HAHAHA!! She needs a tattoo that says I'M TALKING AND I CAN'T SHUT UP"

There's too much in my head.

When I write what's rolling around in my brain that is causing me to be quiet, no one comments, so I assume it was either too depressing or too badly written.
When I write a post that is silly or pure fluff, I get 12 commenters to tell me they loved it.

Last Thursday I was glued to the coverage of the shootings at Ft Hood.
I could have ranted for days about mental illness and gun control and family in the military, but my brain said "No".

Last Friday there was an office shooting in Downtown Orlando and my brain said "Oh, God. No." It's only about 15 minutes from here. I was a little edgy until I could get a text message from my daughter that she was home.

I picked up the phone at work about a week ago. It was a new co-worker. I haven't worked with her yet, but apparently she had a personality transplant between the time she was charming in her job interview and starting her job. She didn't know who I was, but she was extremely snippy with me on the phone.
My brain said "OH NO, YOU DON'T" . She hasn't met me yet, but I have a little info for her. When you decide to use that tone of voice with me, I WILL throw you under the bus. And I did.

But there are a few things that made me say YES-VEMBER!

Look at our store window and try not to smile!

His head rocks back and forth and his Jingle Bell collar lights up and his name is Jingles!

I signed up for REALSIMPLE Magazine's Cookie of the Day e-mail.

I say YES to yummy cookies in my NOvember!