Did I Tell You About October?

October of 2011 is going down in history as one of the suckiest months...EVER!

When I injured my neck in a car accident in 1980, the neurologist said that at some point in time I would probably develop arthritis in my neck. That time arrived in October. I can't turn my head to look over my shoulder. You don't want to be behind me when I back up the car...just sayin'.

!@#$%&%$#@! computer crash when I clicked on a cute Blog with DIY craft projects. I lost EVERYTHING because I'm one of those fools that never backed up her files.
Goodbye 1000 recipes. Goodbye folder with my favorite 65 blogs. Goodbye every photo I've taken in the past 5 years. Goodbye 2000 songs in iTunes.
There is a special place in hell for people who fuck with other people's computers with viruses.

We played nicely with the IRS. We had to prove we're not hiding money HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
It's a good thing I'm OCD about never throwing away receipts. I could produce almost every piece of paper we needed to produce, going back to 2004. It got schlepped to the lawyer's office in a giant brown shopping bag (because I have a stash of those in the laundry closet). It's over and it's all good.

Remember when I spent April in Massachusetts taking care of my Mom post-back surgery? 6 months later she has fallen, broken something in her hand and her back is in pain. They decided to do a CAT scan to see if she messed up something they already fixed or injured something new. It's something new, but they also found a 2cm mass on one of her Adrenal glands. That explains the high blood pressure, high blood sugar and heart palpitations. We're waiting for an appointment for a biopsy.

I coped with October by breathing deeply, snorting a 1 pound bag of Pretzel Crack&M's and taking epic 4 hour naps.
HELLO NOVEMBER. Happy to see you!

Attack Of The Killer Gallbladder

Saturday afternoon I was lounging on the couch, watching my weekly Little House On The Prairie marathon on the JesusFreakChannel.

I suddenly broke out in a sweat and got dizzy. I thought I would go watch in bed but I never made it that far. The next thing I knew, I was doing an Oscar-worthy rendition of Linda Blair in The Exorcist. I had a fever, chills and squeezing under my ribcage that was worse than birthing a 9+pound baby with no epidural (and I really did that!).

I thought I had gotten into some bad butterscotch pudding when the pain starting creeping up my esophagus and my pulse dropped down to 44. Heart attack? I can't have a heart attack, I still live in Land Of The Uninsured!!!

One phone call to Mom and one Diagnoogle later and I was pretty sure it was a gallbladder attack.
Mr Sunshine read a website out loud to me that said NO alcohol, NO dairy, NO red meat, NO caffeine, NO fat.

F%$# F&^% F*&^ My vacation starts in 17 days.

I went to bed with a heating pad on my ribcage and prayed to the god of kindness and mercy to MAKE.IT.STOP

Now I lay me down in bed
I feel like I am almost dead
I think my gallbladder plans to pop
Hand me a scalpel. I'll make it stop.

My diet until Tuesday night was Saltines, tea, water and dry toast. Today I actually had a piece of pizza and cranberry juice.
There's a bottle of wine chilling in my fridge so I can experiment with my alcohol tolerance BEFORE we go on vacation.

Can I get a gallbladder transplant before Sept 10?

Leaving No Turn Unstoned

I can't handle my chemicals. I learned this the first time I had surgery. They put me to sleep for a 20 minute surgery and I slept for 15 hours. I'm a 2 drink cheap date. That 3rd drink will knock me straight out.

My Dad and I tackled anything from a mild headache to pneumonia the same way...
TBS. Total Body Shutdown. No food, no shower, no TV. You go to bed after work on Friday and wake up Monday morning and go to work.

This past week I had an episode of TBS. I was down and out stoned. I was completely miserable with muscle spasms from my head to my knees. On the 5th of Aug I started taking 4 pain pills a day, adding a muscle relaxer with the last pain pill.

I fell asleep that Fri night and woke up at about 2 pm on Sat. I woke up for 4 hours and took a 3 hour nap, got up for 2 hours and went back to bed for the night. This is what my entire week was like.

Occasionally I would turn on the TV and watch an episode of Little House On The Prairie or the PGA golf tournament, but mostly I was dreaming about everyone I ever met in my life! Last night's dream featured all my husband's high school buddies,then me leaving a party as a passenger in a Little Tykes Toy Car.

I finally woke up yesterday and hit the mall for Tax-Free Shopping Weekend. I felt a little like Rip Van Winkle...there were a million people at the mall and I thought I had fallen asleep in August and woke up the day after Thanksgiving!

Did I miss anything important while I was stoned?

O Say Can I See?

If you are my facebook friend you saw this update Thursday night...

New progressive Bifocals. I'll be fine as long as I never move my head again.

The problem with being 54 is that your EYES are also 54. I have been making do with reading glasses for 10 years. I own about 8 pairs because I lose them and find them and lose them and find them.
Lately I have been having a lot of headaches and teary eyes. When I read for a long time, then took off the glasses my distance vision was fuzzy for about an hour.

Off to the discount eye place. I got my prescription and went out to pick my frames. I tried on about 10 pairs and decided on the cutest black rectangles with a few lines of bling on the earpieces. They were also the most comfortable pair.

I handed them to the clerk, she looked at my prescription and said "that will come to $600" and Mr Sunshine said "NO &%$#ing WAY!"

I sent the following text message to Sorority Girl...

In my blindness I picked out Vera Wang frames. They were so pretty.

She replied...

Duh!! Vera Wang!

The clerk said if I pick out frames from the WALL OF UGLY GLASSES that I could get 2 pairs for about $245.  Four hours later I walked out with semi-ugly brown frames. I'm getting used to finding the sweet spot for reading and where to situate my laptop.

But I would have looked much cuter with the Vera Wang glasses.

24/54

I survived the first 24 hours of being 54.
I woke up feeling a little old. My back was so tight I could barely walk. I thought about the fact that at 54 my Mom had 4 grandchildren and at 54 my grandmother had 6 grandchildren and I have 0 grandchildren.

I opened facebook to 47 birthday messages!! I smiled but also got a little misty-eyed. SWEET!

Then I wished a Happy Mutual Birthday to Sandra Bullock, Kevin Spacey, Dorothy Hamill, Helen Mirren and Mick Jagger!!

Mr Sunshine and Sorority Girl both had the day off, so I was Queen For A Day.
We went to my favorite seafood place that flies the fresh seafood down from Boston every morning.
I ate my weight in Fried Cod, Fried Clams, Fried Onion Rings, French Fries and a cup of coleslaw...just to say I ate a vegetable!

We hit the sad Going-out-of-business sale at Borders. I got a GIANT LA Times Sunday Crossword Puzzle Book and we got some great children's reference books for SG (the future teacher).
Then we went to ULTA and she got me my favorite OPI nail polish (Aphrodite's Pink Nightie) and I got the BEST curly hair product ever (Fekkai Luscious Curls).

We hit the bakery at the grocery store and I got a sliver of white cake with raspberry filling. I REALLY wanted a 12 inch birthday cake with buttercream frosting, but a diabetic's gotta do what a diabetic's gotta do.

As I was falling asleep I did my usual twist and stretch to get comfortable. I felt a huge KER-THUNK in my lower back...in a good way! My lower spine slid back into the place it slipped out of about 7 months ago and the pain in my legs disappeared. wHOO-FREAKING-HOOOOO!

It was a genuine birthday miracle!!

Do The Whiny Walk

I have been walking on a regular basis for about 9 months now. When I first started I could only walk 1- 1 and 1/2 miles. I've worked up to a comfortable 3 miles, with an occasional 4 or 5 mile walk thrown in the mix. 4 or 5 miles is NOT(insert whine) comfortable. I really have to push myself and those longer walks mostly occur when I'm walking with a friend and we stop walking when we're too tired to talk anymore!

I have a fairly new pair of Nike walking shoes that I have LOVED, until this week. All of a sudden I am developing blisters on the bottoms of my toes. What's up with THAT(insert another whine)? I have tried 3 different types of socks that are advertised as "walking socks".

In Jan and Feb, I watched the little temperature indicator in the corner of the TV screen, As soon as it hit 60 degrees, I was out the door. That was usually around 1pm. By April, I was watching the temperature so that I could hit the road before the temp hit 70 degrees. That meant I was out the door by 11am. Yesterday and today I walked between 9 and 10am...just as the temperature was hitting 90 degrees(no whine, just heavy sigh)... I could have sworn I was sweating off some pounds...no such luck. Any day now, I'll get the shoes on and RUN out the door as soon as the sun comes up.

Florida is weird. The hottest time of the day is just around 4pm. Even if you wait until 7pm to walk, the temp might still be in the 90's.

Speaking of temps in the 90's...I have whined on facebook about my rude neighbors who let their dogs poop on the sidewalk and leave it there. Now that the temp is in the 90's, those steaming piles on the sidewalk smell like....you guessed it..(insert VERY LOUD WHiiinnneeee)...steaming piles of dog shit!

Just one more whine. Men in pickup trucks and SUV's who hootinholler at women who are walking. I'm 53, I'm wearing loose yoga capris, a VERY unflattering sports bra and an XL tshirt. REALLY? This is turning you on? Get a LIFE!!

Dear Mom

I'm home. *sigh* I flew back to The Sunshine State on Tuesday because it was the only day I could get a ride to the airport in Boston.

I managed to take care of Mom and be pretty much housebound by the rain and her needs for 17 days without a major meltdown (by me).

Here are a few memos to Mom:

Dear Mom:
Who told you this was a 2 week recovery? We all heard 6 to 8 weeks. Patience, woman. Patience.
Dear Mom:
Cleaning the house at 10:30 pm, the day before your housecleaner comes is crazy and I refuse to participate. She knows you had surgery. She knows you aren't a slob. I don't care if you cry. I'm already in bed for the night.
Dear Mom:
Okay, if it will prevent you from having an anxiety attack, I will clean the garage.
Dear Mom:
I threw away the tube of cortisone cream that expired in 1981. 
Dear Mom:
These kitchen towels have been here since 1962. You have a drawer with 8 new kitchen towels that still have price tags. Explain.
Dear Mom:
No, I don't think you're a hoarder, you just keep stuff WAY beyond it's expiration date.
Dear Mom:
I'm diabetic. So are you. It's NOT okay to eat cookies every day. You can cheat all you want, but don't try to make me feel guilty for not cheating with you.
Dear Mom:
I put 3 ice cubes in your tea. Not 2. Not 4. Yes, I DID just call you a fusspot!
Dear Mom:
If you have to wear jeans and a fleece jacket and wrap up in a blanket, it's TOO COLD to sit on the deck. I'll be in the house. Wrapped up in jeans, a fleece jacket and a blanket.
Dear Mom:
Surgery complications SUCK. I'm sorry you are going through all these setbacks. I can come back in a couple of weeks.
Dear Mom:
If you INSIST on walking down the steep driveway, BRING YOUR CELL PHONE, BRING YOUR CELL PHONE, BRING YOUR CELL PHONE.  I'm almost certain that you'll tumble into the street and need to call someone for help.
Dear Mom:
I'm only a phone call and a 3 hour plane ride away. I love you.

This Week Kicked Me In The Rear

What a week. I just need to vent a little.

Mom moved back to MA. My brother and I spent last week packing the rest of her stuff and closing her house. It hasn't sold and I'm not sure it will. There are 150 houses for sale in her development.

We spent $700 to wrap all her shit in bubble wrap and blankets and ship by UPS. No one in our family was interested in driving a UHAUL 1500 miles in the winter. A HUGE amount of stuff arrived in MA in shatters. Can you picture the freakout on Mom's end? I started the claims process and let me just say that the Customer Service people at UPS ROCKED MY SOCKS OFF. They are sending an investigator to her house to take pictures of her broken stuff.

She saw the spine specialist in Boston and it has been determined that there is so much arthritis in her spine that if she doesn't have surgery, she may never stand up straight or be without pain ever agin, so surgery will happen in about a month or two. She will most likely go to a nursing home for 6 to 8 weeks for recovery.

We are three adults trying to function on one car. The Mazda had a crapped out Master Cylinder and it took 9 days to find a part for a 13 yr old car. The Nissan lost steering control last week and poor Sorority Girl flew off University Blvd (scary busy road) and landed in a bank parking lot and managed to NOT get hit or hit anything or anyone. She has my beloved SUV until her car gets fixed with some $$$ that is coming from who-the-hell-knows-where.

I have been on 1800 calories, diabetic, no sugar, limited alcohol, limited carbs, 10 mile a week walking plan, lost 30 pounds journey for 7 months now. My reward? My cholesterol went up 40 POINTS and I had to go on yet another freaking pill to swallow every day. WTF???

I have a sinus infection.

I am also having severe body issues about what I look like with -60 pounds on my body. Let's just say, it ain't pretty, in any way, shape or form.  My healthcare provider has suggested psychiatric counseling which ain't gonna happen with no health insurance.

I have spent 8 of the last 9 days hibernating in my pajamas. It's sunny and 75 degrees every day and I don't even care to sit on the porch.

Getting old is not for wimps. Feel free to not comment. I just needed to get it all out.

The Snowbird Flew Away

I spent last week getting my Mom successfully moved out of the Tin Can Retirement Village. Her place hasn't sold, but she needed to make another trip to MA and decided not to come back...ever.

My youngest brother came down from MA to help me. It was a win-win situation. He helped me ship the last seven boxes and in return got to escape the 32 inches of snow in his front yard. I took him to the Red Sox Spring Training park but we were a day too early to see any action.

When Mom decided not to spend winters in Florida anymore, she asked me to pack "a few personal things" to ship home. She bought the place furnished and all the kitchen stuff came with the house, so she was leaving all that behind. Mom is NOT a hoarder, her house always looks like the cleaning lady just left. But REALLY, MOM? 22 BOXES?? The last two boxes were each big enough to pack a dishwasher and weighed 100 pounds each. My brother was filling them with (I shit you not) beach chairs and lawn statues. If I had been the least bit amused I would have taken photos. I'm sure the local UPS store was happy to make an extra $700 last week.

I dropped them off at the airport, a little worried that I won't be checking up on her every 4 weeks. I'll having to start planning trips to MA...but she has been warned that I may refuse to come up there between October and May.

No sooner did I pull out of the airport and heave a (sort of guilty) sigh of relief that I won't be making the 4 hour drive to South Florida anymore, than I came down with the nasty virus that Mom has been coughing all over me for a week. My ears are clogged, I have a headache and my throat feels like I've been swallowing gasoline.

I'll be hibernating in bed with a few books until this passes.

Mend My Broken Face With Sad Literature

Last week I showed you the hideous photo of my broken face. I wasn't told that when you have that much blood in your forehead and nose, it eventually has to go SOMEWHERE!

SOMEWHERE was into 2 large, puffy bags under my eyes! I took this picture last Friday, then it got worse over the weekend.
Normally, I would have treated my broken face with a 5Lb bag of Peanut Crack&M's, but now there is a diabetic living in my house. I tried to substitute a bag of pretzels, but it just isn't the same.

I still haven't gone back to work. I get a little bit lightheaded when I stand up for too long.
I spent 2 days in bed and decided to do some reading (even though glasses perched on my broken nose? OUCH).

What would YOU read to match the misery of a broken face? I read A Farewell To Arms by Hemingway and now I'm into Angela's Ashes. They make my broken face seem a little less of a tragedy.

I am also knitting myself a bubble suit for when I venture back out into public.
And I'm going to burn all my evil flip-flops.

The Further Adventures Of KLUTZPRINCESS

I have documented some of my klutz injuries here before.
http://littlemisssunshinestate.blogspot.com/search/label/KlutzPrincess

Today, I did it again. I was craving steak, and we had just purchased a new George Foreman Grill. We went off to the meat market.

I decided that since Mr Sunshine was home from the hospital, diabetes under pretty good control and since Sorority Girl's car was out of the shop, that I needed to provide a little excitement for a Tuesday morning.

I was walking up the sidewalk at the meat market, got my flip-flop caught in a crack and did a faceplant onto the side of the building. QUIT LAUGHING!!

My very first thought was "Oh crap, I broke my nose". There was so much blood on the sidewalk that it looked like they had slaughtered a cow in front of the building. The nice guys in the meat market brought me wet towels and ice packs. A nice lady customer said I looked like I needed to go to the ER.

As soon as I stopped seeing stars I decided that I didn't need no stinkin' ER and had the hub drive me to my doctor's office. He insisted to the secretary that the doctor needed to come out of her lunch meeting and clean me up and decide if I had a concussion.

The decision was "Maybe". If I start to give non-sensical answers to questions or start acting "weird" I need to go get a CAT Scan. Ummmmm, I'm ALWAYS like that! How will we know??

I did break my nose. It only bleeds when I get up and walk around. I have a note from the doctor to stay out of work for the rest of the week.

WARNING: HIDEOUS MEDICAL-TYPE PHOTO.....THIS IS WHAT KLUTZPRINCESS LOOKS LIKE TODAY.

Sugar, Sugar

Little Miss Sunshine State needs to take a break to deal with a little issue called
Mr Sunshine State in the ICU. Something (not so little) is going on.... Diabetic Hyperosmolar Non-Ketotic Syndrome. Something we had never heard of until 2:30 this afternoon.

There's also a rumor that Peanut Crack&M's will be hereby banned from the Sunshine State Treehouse.

He'll be fine. I left him watching Last Comic Standing and joking with the night nurses.

Getting My Butt Kicked. And It Hurts!

Hey! Hi! It's Mii!
Santa brought a Wii because a lovely local blogger Miss-Britt invited me to a WiiFitPlus launch party back in November and I came home with a free WiiFitPlus!

Did you know when you lose 46 pounds you get FLABBY? I was SHOCKED!
I also hate to exercise, but this is so much fun that I'll exercise for an hour at a time. I'm happy about it, but my butt is complaining. I didn't know I had any muscles back there.

I discovered that I completely suck at Yoga (I have serious muscle atrophy from being off my right leg for 4 months when I had foot surgery), there are exercises to tone my Bingo Arms (those old lady floppy bags where your triceps are supposed to be), and I ROCK at aerobic exercise.

This is my Christmas stuff.It also kicked my butt. Until 10:00 this morning it was still in my living room. Between being sick at New Year, working and working out, knitting and reading (The Help), I kept the decor up WAY later than I usually do.

Speaking of work, it has been kicking my butt in every way. I am cleaning up some stuff in the stockroom that has to be boxed up and documented until the next big sale, we made it SPRING in the store, and we are still having issues that FRUSTRATE THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!!!!!

I left work at 2 am Monday morning, took a 3 hour nap from 5 am to 8 am and had to be back to work at noon. This was the conversation with my boss...

Boss: How did it go last night?

Me: You don't want to go there right now.

Boss: Yes, I do.

Me: No, you don't.

Boss: YES, I really do.

And then I blew a gasket. He's pretty good at letting me vent, so I did. He now knows that I'm sick and tired of covering the asses of people who chronically don't show up, and I'm sick and tired of cleaning up people's messes and I'm sick and tired of people who don't follow directions even after you explain it to them and I'm sick and tired of doing it all for minimun wage.

*ahhhhhhhh* that felt good.

For each of the the past 2 nights I have slept 12 hours. Me and my butt are feeling much better today.

This One Is For Bee!

This is for Bee. Bee had elbow surgery today.

She's one of my newest Blog Buddies (my family thinks I have Imaginary Friends, but we all know they are real). Bee is a brand new blogger and she is as funny as her sister Meg.

BEE??? Are you there???
WAKE UP, HONEY! Shake off that Vicoden haze!

If you are reading this, YOU SURVIVED! Now is the RECOVERY PERIOD. This is the time to make those 3 males in your house wait on you hand and foot. I think you can milk this for at least 3 months! Here, I present the POST-MOM-SURGERY-SURVIVAL-MANUAL.

1. Male members of the Miss Beehaven household will prepare and serve all meals to Bee
2. Male members of the Miss Beehaven household will make all the beds on a daily basis
3. Male members of the Miss Beehaven household will wash all the dishes
4. Male members of the Miss Beehaven household will do all the laundry
5. Male members of the Miss Beehaven household will vacuum the rugs
6. Male members of the Miss Beehaven household will keep the bathroom sparkling clean and antiseptic (we can't risk a post-surgery infection!)
7. Male members of the Miss Beehaven household will hold Bee's book and turn the pages
8. 1 Male member of the Miss Beehaven household will be in charge of dressing Bee.
9. Male members of the Miss Beehaven household will prepare evening meals from The Pioneer Woman's cookbook.
10. Male members of the Miss Beehaven household will give up possession of the TV remote to Bee.

This is going to be SO GOOD for the men. Just don't tell them it is an internship to prepare them for when they get married and their wives are post-partum.

Like I said, you can milk this for AT LEAST 3 months!

Hair Today-Gone Tomorrow

I swore I was going to be one of those *older* women with long grey hair. Then I started coloring it again.
And then the temperature got up to 100. Putting this much hair on top of your head can cause a serious neck strain.
I woke up this morning and decided some of it had to go. At least 6 to 8 inches.

No regrets.

By the way....HOW in the world do people take pictures of themselves.? My arms aren't long enough, so the face-on pictures were pretty scary! LINES, CREASES, DARK CIRCLES!

I'm leaving for MA in about 10 hours. Once again, I'll be in the Land Of Dial-Up Internet at my Mom's. I'll check e-mail and facebook every now and then.

The Birthday Post: Guest Blogger Tigger

Yesterday was Little Miss Sunshine State's birthday. She's feeling a little blah lately, so she asked me to recount the fun and festivity of her birthday.

Don't I look excited?

My big sister Sorority Girl was here Sat. night and she put some black stuff on LMSS's hair.They re-watched this week's episodes of SYTYCD.

Then she couldn't fall asleep until the wee hours of her birthday morning. She blames that on Menna Puss. I know she isn't talking about me and there had BETTER NOT!! be another cat in this house.

She woke up at 11:30am. The house was very quiet because everyone had already gone to work. She went into the dining room to find a pot of fresh coffee, bagels and cream cheese, a vase of her favorite flowers (daisies, carnations and alstromeria). and an iTunes gift card.

She ate breakfast with some lady named FACEBOOK, then she popped a Calcium and Vitamin D so she won't break a hip when she falls. You do know she is old. So old that Dwight Eisenhower was President when she was born. There was no such thing as DIGITAL. Telephones were attached to the wall. Bread cost 25 cents a loaf. Nobody had ever heard of the Beatles. TV was black and white and there were only 3 channels.

There was a big thunderstorm, so she turned off the computer and attempted the NYT Sunday Crossword. Her mom called and my big brother, Cape Cod Kid and his girlfriend called.

After that she decided to bake a Lemon Cake. When I asked her why, she said "Sometimes a girl has to create her own happiness". She offered me a piece but I turned her down. Hacking up lemon-scented hair-cakeballs would not have been nice.

At 4pm she turned the computer back on. She read some celebrity gossip, called Jon Gosselin a douchebag and looked at photos of cute, celebrity babies. She played MahJong Solitaire until she elevated her world ranking to 14,400.

Then she went to work for a long night at the Shower Gel Store.

Just another day in Paradise. Thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes on Facebook!

Shopping With A Sorority Girl

When you spend a day shopping with a Sorority Girl

• You bring her cute new pajama bottoms, 2 Mom-made zucchini muffins and a book.
• She tolerates your journey through the Farmer's Market, while she silently wishes you would hurry up because she is so hungry.
• You both agree that it is obnoxious when the counter people at Panera call your name 4 times before you can even get out of your chair.
• She tells you her weird dream about having to save Jon and Kate's kids and a basket full of puppies.
• She teaches you to never settle for a purse you don't love.
• She shows you sandals you might like because they are "Hippie but a little bit dressy"
• She finds you a cute summer dress. She tries on the same dress and jokes that we should get them and wear them together to DisneyWorld. That reminds you of the middle-aged twins in the food court that had on matching outfits. We agree that it would be TOO DORKY!!
• She tells you the dress is cute on you and you discuss the fact that you will definately need a more supportive bra to pull it off.
• You discuss the fact that a 21 year old looks WAY better in fitting room lights and mirrors than a 51 year old.
• You buy her 2 new pairs of Old Navy Flip-Flops. When you go to University Of Tropical Paradise, you quickly wear out your flip-flops.
• You spot the MATERNITY WEAR sign at Ross and the one right above it that says "OVER 55 -EXTRA 10% DISCOUNT...and the camera is in the car.
• She writes on her facebook page that she had an "amazing shopping day" with her Mom.

It's Enough To Make My Hair Curl

I'll show you my hair, but you have to promise to ignore my fatass up against the counter and my Bingo Arms.

When I was a little girl I had very curly hair. My Mom would wrap the curls around her finger to make banana curls. When I reached my teen years, every last curl on my head went straight. When I had babies my hair got curly again. Then I got Fibromyalgia/Thyroid issues and my hair looked like a bird's nest for about 12 years. Then I hit menopause and HEY!!! My curls came back!!
a) this is my hair when it's still a little wet.
b) this is NOT my true hair color. I had let it go grey and I really liked it, but it was making my skin look grey, so now I'm using Natural Instincts every 8 weeks or so.

The woman who cuts my hair convinced me that women with long, curly hair MUST use products for curly hair. So began the search for the perfect product.
1. Pantene PRO-V soft start felt like Crisco in my hair and the curls were so-so.
2. Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum. Nice curls, but the product is a little oily.
Washing curly hair every day is not good.
3. TRESemme FLAWLESS CURLS is mousse. Gorgeous curls but it dries out
my hair and I was back to washing it every day to get the product out and
moisture in.
4. FEKKAI LUSCIOUS CURLS. Yes, it's the most expensive product I've ever
put in my hair. Yes, I sell this product at work and get a decent discount.
Yes, it's worth every penny. My curls are soft, it's not greasy. It smells
Yummy...sweet almond, honey nectar and ginger.

Frederic Fekkai may be my hair's new best friend.

P.S. Dear Cape Cod Kid. Your birthday post is a work in progress. I'm having trouble with my photo-cropping skills. Love, Mom

Episode 200: Back With The Back Story

In Episode 200 of Little Miss Sunshine State, the role of Little Miss Sunshine State will be played by Special Ed the stuffed bear. The role of Tigger the Cat will be played by Tigger the Beanie Baby.

Little Miss Sunshine State has this little problem called Degenerative Disc Disease. Those little discs in between the vertebrae of my back like to bulge, break off in little pieces and eventually rupture. This has happened 6 times in the past 21 years. Make that 7 times, because it happened again last week.
This is the kind of pain that will lay me flat on my back. I spent Thursday and Friday in between my Martha Stewart Sheets, mostly sleeping and watching TV.
I drugged myself on muscle relaxers and slept about 18 hours a day.

Tigger was very concerned. If I was asleep, he was curled up on the other side of the bed, napping. If I was awake, he thought the best thing he could do for me was to plop his 24 Lb body onto my chest. Every time I asked him to fetch me an ice pack, he would gently place his paw over my mouth to shut me up.

With the help of nearly toxic doses from the Costco Bucket-O-Ibuprofen, I was able to smile and start sitting up for about 3 hours at a time. Today I ventured out to the grocery store (not my brightest idea).

Tuesday I'm going back to work.

All The Ladies In The Pool

Of all the ladies in the therapeutic pool, I am the youngest.
One piece bathing suits on all.
Into the 92 degrees of watery Heaven, we all sigh and
say "This feels so good".
Some interesting headwear. A crocheted hat, a couple of shower caps and
one fluffy piece of pink yarn tied in a bow.
The ladies get very annoyed if the class doesn't start at 9AM on the DOT.
The fresh-from-the hairdresser ladies won't bend low enough to risk wetting the hair.
The instructor does everything we do, except on the deck and twice as fast.
We walk our laps in different gaits. All together now
Walk forward, walk backward, march, then sideways to music by
Frankie Valle and the Four Seasons.
Sheeeery, Sherry Baby. Big Girls Don't Cry.
A few appear to be line-dancing instead of marching.
Some ladies are friends and chat with each other through the whole class.
Today's topic of conversation: Crazy Octuplet Lady In California.
I just breathe.
45 minutes, then some jockey for positions in the whirpool area,
while others grab a foam noodle and float.
Before we leave the pool, there are high fives all around.
Good Job, Ladies. See You Thursday.