Don't Make Me Write You A Letter!

DEAR PLANET SMOOTHIE,
Thank you for creating the Frozen Goat. It is the most wonderful concoction of coffee, bananas, cocoa, nonfat milk, yogurt and energy blast, with the 2nd lowest sugar content on your menu. If you move back to my neighborhood I will visit you every day.

Unfortunately that was my only happy letter today. Now on to the rest...

DEAR IDIOT LADY RIDING WITH A BABY IN A STROLLER IN THE BED OF A PICKUP TRUCK:
I hereby sentence you to a Hysterectomy. Your appointment is at 10am Monday morning.


DEAR KIM KARDASHIAN: CELEBRITY FOR WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHY
So, you're getting married on Saturday. I'm so sorry to hear that you have broken out in a stress-induced-heart-shaped patch of psoriasis.That's precious, but I REFUSE to click on to the photo...sorry. Did you get the WalMart Gift Card I sent you for a wedding present?

DEAR OLD LADY IN PUBLIX WITH THE PURPLE SCRUNCHIE IN YOUR WHITE HAIR,
I appreciate your gushing at how kind I was, when I pointed you to the salad dressing aisle. You told me I was so kind and helpful. I guess you didn't recognize me. I'm the asshole shift manager from The Shower Gel Store that wouldn't let you do a fraudulent return. You definately didn't call me kind and helpful that day.

DEAR GUYS IN THE PICKUP YESTERDAY AFTERNOON WHEN THE GIRLS TRACK TEAM WAS DOING THE 3 MILE LOOP IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD,
KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!! YOU DROVE ONTO THE SIDEWALK AFTER YOU PASSED THEM WITH YOUR EYES STUCK TO THE REARVIEW MIRROR!! YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE!!

DEAR SPLENDA:
You are sooooo not a reasonable baking substitute for sugar. You make my morning coffee drinkable but the recipe for the Sugar-Free Icing pretty much ruined a perfectly good batch of Sugar-Free Cupcakes. Have a little compassion for the Desperate Diabetic family and work on a better recipe. TY.

Little Miss Sunshine State writes her pretend letters with a Hello Kitty Pencil.

Roll Out Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days

My grandmother used to let me play her 45's on her record player. She had a stack of songs by Nat King Cole and Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days Of Summer was one of my favorites.

I'm slightly lazy and certainly hazy this summer. I sleep in 20-60 minute catnaps all night long. By 2 in the afternoon I'm settling down for a 3 hour nap. This probably explains losing my wallet,dropping bottles of beer that smash on the kitchen floor, driving to the bank and then forgetting to go to the bank and forgetting the overdue library books until I need a loan to pay the overdue charges.

I've been a little lazy about my diet. I'm not eating sugar, but definately not weighing and measuring my food.

How about a few doses of CRAZY?
The kids start school here in 4 weeks. The kids up north have probably only been on their summer vacation for 4 weeks. The stores are starting their "Back To School" sales.

The Casey Crazy Train keeps rolling. She gets out at 12:01am. The crowds are already gathering and the county has already set up the blockades at the jail entrance.There is gossip about "6 black decoy SUV's" so the media chase should be interesting. Full TV coverage starts at 11pm.

 Poor, poor Casey is "emotionally exhausted" after her trial, so a judge said she doesn't have to show up for a deposition in a civil case next week. Her ex-bf is writing a book about "OH BOY did she party for 31 days after the baby was dead". The Meter Reader is suing the Bounty Hunter. The state is suing Casey.

 Supposedly, she is going to be put on a private plane and shipped to Puerto Rico. Maybe she'll be a nanny for her lawyers relatives. Our TV reporters are in PR interviewing residents who say "She better not come here!! Somebody gonna choot her!! We don't want her here!!"

My Mom has a saying for people like Casey..."they fall in a pile of shit and come up smelling like a rose".

MORE CRAZY PARENTS!!!! There was a couple on trial this week for having an 8 foot python in a fishtank with a QUILT for a cover. They awoke to find the snake TRYING TO EAT THE 2 YEAR OLD BABY!!!!! They thought it was "safe". They thought it was "tame". They took it for rides in the car and the kids "played with it like a puppy". As if that's not enough cRaZy, they hadn't fed the python for a MONTH!! The jury found them guilty in less time than it took to take a lunch break.

In the crazy weather dept...Orlando temp is in the 80's with 50% humidity. Wisconsin temp is in the 80's with 65% humidity. Massachusetts is in the 80's with 70% humidity.

Enjoy the rest of your lazy, hazy, crazy summer.

More Scattered Brain Droppings

Found a few more scattered brain droppings under the bird feeder.

I did the math, yo.
When I buy 2.5 pounds of Dunkin Donuts coffee at Costco
 + 1000 yellow packets of sweetener at Costco
+ 100 coffee filters at the dollar store
+ we make a pot at home every morning

=14.8 cents per cup for the win!
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A disgruntled patient with a gun killed a beloved transplant surgeon in the parking garage of the local hospital the other night. The doctor was 41 and has 4 kids.

A local guy (with a permit)went into the local rib place the other night with a loaded gun in his pocket. The gun went off and shot a woman in the leg. I didn't realize the rib place had gotten so scary that you need to take a loaded weapon with you.

But we all know the crazies have a right to their loaded concealed weapons.
NOTE: I didn't mean to insult everyone with a gun permit. I am just afraid of the nut cases out there that endanger me or my family. More views in the comments~LMSS
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Sugar-free Fudgsicles. 20 for $4.69. Buy 1 box/ Get 1 free. There are now 40 Sugar-free Fudgsicles in my freezer. Take one down, pass it around, 39 Sugar-free Fudgsicles in my freezer.
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I spent the evening building crappe Tarjay shelves for my walk-in closet. Of course, one of them came out of the box with a big chunk missing....back to Tarjay for an exchange.
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I'm building crappe Tarjay shelves because I am reorganizing my closet. I also got rid of all the clothes that are more than 1 size too big. I sent 2 huge bags to the dumpster and 2 huge bags to Goodwill.
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So You Think You Can Dance.....YESSSSSSSSS!
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I want to read Tina Fey's book Bossypants. So do a lot of other people. I'm on a waiting list at the library.
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The Space Shuttle is flying into Cape Canaveral at 2:35am. We will probably hear the sonic boom as it passes over Central Florida.
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Discovery Lift-Off. Awesome Day!

Yesterday we drove an hour out to Titusville to watch the Space Shuttle lift off. At any time during the countdown, the lift-off can be scrubbed for clouds, lightning, computer issues, etc. At one point yesterday, they halted the countdown for an Eastern Range computer issue, that was eventually resolved.

We packed beach chairs, sandwiches, a crossword puzzle book, cameras, binoculars and gave ourselves about 5 hours to find a place to watch. We ended up at Veteran's Memorial park on the Indian River Lagoon.

 Those little dots on the causeway are about 1,000 people. Some stood there for over 3 hours.

 We sat at the park for about 3 hours with a crowd of about 2,000. We were surrounded by some really nice people. One man we talked to for a really long time was retired Air Force. He was listening to the NASA feed in his earphones and keeping us updated on what was happening. People chatted about where they were from and previous launches.

 You hear the noise before you see the Shuttle. This pic was about 10 seconds after lift-off. The crowd cheers and claps!

 This is about a minute after take-off.

 This was just about the point where the rocket boosters separate from the shuttle and drop into the ocean. I could barely see it with my eyes or my zoom lens, but the Air Force gentleman handed me his super-duper binoculars and told me to watch it up close!

 The trail stays for a long time.

It was a gorgeous day...sunny and about 80 degrees. I got sunburned shoulders.

This was the third time I went out to watch a shuttle, but the other 2 times the lift-off was scrubbed. This was the last launch of Discovery. Endeavour is scheduled for April 19th. Gabrielle Gifford's husband, Mark Kelly, will be on that launch.

Days like these are what makes me LOVE living in Florida.

This is the link for the You Tube video shot by Mr Sunshine and his fabulous FLIP camera.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mLIOarU3MQ&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

Just Say NOvember

I've been quiet. Yes, I'm sure any family members that are reading this are laughing out loud. "Jeanne?? Quiet?? HAHAHA!! She needs a tattoo that says I'M TALKING AND I CAN'T SHUT UP"

There's too much in my head.

When I write what's rolling around in my brain that is causing me to be quiet, no one comments, so I assume it was either too depressing or too badly written.
When I write a post that is silly or pure fluff, I get 12 commenters to tell me they loved it.

Last Thursday I was glued to the coverage of the shootings at Ft Hood.
I could have ranted for days about mental illness and gun control and family in the military, but my brain said "No".

Last Friday there was an office shooting in Downtown Orlando and my brain said "Oh, God. No." It's only about 15 minutes from here. I was a little edgy until I could get a text message from my daughter that she was home.

I picked up the phone at work about a week ago. It was a new co-worker. I haven't worked with her yet, but apparently she had a personality transplant between the time she was charming in her job interview and starting her job. She didn't know who I was, but she was extremely snippy with me on the phone.
My brain said "OH NO, YOU DON'T" . She hasn't met me yet, but I have a little info for her. When you decide to use that tone of voice with me, I WILL throw you under the bus. And I did.

But there are a few things that made me say YES-VEMBER!

Look at our store window and try not to smile!

His head rocks back and forth and his Jingle Bell collar lights up and his name is Jingles!

I signed up for REALSIMPLE Magazine's Cookie of the Day e-mail.

I say YES to yummy cookies in my NOvember!

Moving Out. And Down. And Up

OUT: We signed the lease on a new apartment. We're only moving 2 miles down the road, but instead of living in a condo complex surrounded by big-box stores, couple of car dealerships and a community college, we'll be in a residential area near a big lake. I have to go through all the boxes that never got unpacked from the move to FL....because we're moving....

DOWN: Once again, we're downsizing. The house on the Cape was 9 rooms with a basement and a garage. The current apartment is 7 rooms with a couple of decent sized closets. The new place is 5 rooms with one big closet, one small closet, one small pantry closet and one small linen closet.

UP: Our current apartment is on the first floor with windows on only one side I had no windows in my kitchen and dining room. Our new apartment is a second floor, corner unit with a BIG screened in porch, a big living room and lots of windows.
And 10 stairs up to our door. My knees keep whining, "are you freaking KIDDING ME????" I'll let you know what they say when I have to climb them every night after work, lugging my extra large work purse and groceries. Our new rent is lower than our old rent, so maybe I can start saving up for the knee replacement surgery.

I'll take some pictures after we're all settled in.

Mimosas, Muppets and M&M's

I had a MARVELOUS Easter Weekend. Of course it involved Peanut Crack&M's.
We invited Sorority Girl and Frat Boyfriend to spend the day with us.
My family indulged my love of ALL THINGS MUPPET.

We went to the the Orange County Regional History Center in Orlando to see the traveling exhibit called Jim Henson's Fantastic World, that is making its debut here. It was sponsored by The Smithsonian and the Biography Channel, in cooperation with Jim Henson's family. We watched a video about Jim Henson, saw Muppets (they were much bigger than I expected) and a room full of Henson's drawings and storyboards. I wish I could have taken pictures.

We also saw 2 floors of exhibits on the history of Central Florida and Florida before and after Disney.

Then we crossed the street and sat at an outdoor table listening to a singer and drinking a pitcher of Mimosas.

We had a 2:30 reservation for Easter Brunch at graze
The chef, Jephanie Foster is being called one of the best in Florida. The restaurant has been reviewed as being elegant yet fun.

I had REALLY yummy smoked salmon on a bagel with cream cheese, and a little ham, prime rib, risotto, sushi and shrimp grits.....not shrimp AND grits, grits WITH shrimp. update: I forgot to tell you I also ate bowtie pasta-chicken alfredo, fresh green beans and garlic mashed sweet potatoes. I was too full to go anywhere near the dessert table. I was also too full to eat anything for dinner except a handful of Wheat Thins and a Diet Pepsi.

We got on the mailing list and we're thinking about going back in a few weeks for a special Seafood Buffet.

Now I'm rolling off to bed so I can be at work by 7am.

Photos: See What I Found In The Park

The last time I took my camera to the park I planned to take pictures of the fountain. As I passed through a small garden, something caught my eye.

It was life-sized and it made me smile. I turned the corner and saw another one.

I walked all the way around the garden and found more.

The girl in the next picture has 2 small dogs at her feet.

The next one took a little longer to find. It's my favorite.

Good Gator!

Today was the last day we could all spend together before Cape Cod Kid heads back up north Wed night.

We wanted to do something we've never done before. That eliminated all the theme parks.There are so many other things to do in the Orlando area. So we went here.....

We needed food so we went into the restaurant. Guess what we ate?

Yes, it's Gator Tail. It's very tasty, mild like chicken, with a consistency less chewy than calamari.

Then we did this.....

The kids and I.

We were given earphones to block out the sound of the airboat engine. It's very loud.

Lake Jessup is a 10,000 acre lake that is only 5 feet deep. It is 45 minutes north of the Disney area.

And we saw GATORS. The boat takes you to the coves along the shore.

The only house we saw was the one owned by the family that runs the business.

Disclaimer: Mr SS knows the family, but we still paid for our tickets.

Clicking on the photos will make them bigger.

This guy is about 15 years old

This is a "nursery" area. These 3 little guys are toddlers. They're about 2 years old. They stick by Mama Gator until about 2 nesting cycles after they are born.

They appeared to be around 3 feet long.

The vegetation is flattened from the gators crawling out of the water.To the left of this area we saw one trail that went for a long distance that was 2 feet wide. Our captain told us it had been made by one gator.

Another medium-sized gator.

Including the babies I spotted about 18 gators. They move very fast and as soon as the boat gets too close, they go under water.

We all took turns holding a baby gator. His mouth is taped shut.

This is the website for the company http://www.blackhammockairboatrides.com/location.html

Fun way to spend the day.

Photos: Giant Guitars!

It's not COWS. It's GUITARS! It's Orlando GuitarTown!
The City of Orlando has 10 foot tall replicas of Gibson Les Paul Guitars that have been painted by artists, inspired by musicians.

We went downtown last week to photograph a few. The light wasn't great because we were surrounded by tall buildings and it was late afternoon. There are about 30 of them and we found about 12.

You can click on the pics to see more details. We'll go down again and find a few more.

The Eagles

Matchbox 20

Jimi Hendrix

Guns N' Roses

Dave Matthews

Counting Crows

Bon Jovi

Photo: Downtown Reflection

Thanksgiving afternoon we went downtown to see Orlando Guitar Town. It's kind of like Cows On Parade, except the artists painted 10 foot tall replicas of Gibson electric guitars, inspired by certain musicians.

In the next day or 2, I'll be posting some of the ones we found. As we were driving around the lake to head home, Tom grabbed the camera to shoot this photo of the downtown skyline.