Monday, January 5, 2009

Fun With Anatomy and Physiology

I had a doctor's appointment today. I love my doctor. She's really cool and she rides a Harley and she gives me lots of free samples.

Because I'm still living in The Land Of The Uninsured.

Today's appointment was interesting. Before I went, I showered in Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Stress Relief Eucalyptus/Spearmint Body Wash and Foam Bath. My normal blood pressure of 130/78 was 110/70. wHoo-Hoo!!

Remember when I broke my toe? It turns out I DIDN'T break my toe. Better than that. I completely ripped the cartilage out of the 5th Metatarsal/Phalangeal Joint. In layman's terms...The toe bone is no longer connected to the foot bone. That's why it kind of flops out to the side when I wiggle my toes. This little piggy is now marching to the beat of a different drummer.

Remember when I slashed my finger open on the shattered jar? And I didn't get stitches because I was residing in Land Of The Uninsured? She looked at it today and said "Ohhhhh, that should have had stitches" When I told her the Urgent Care Center wanted about $600 for stitches she said "And they didn't stitch it because you didn't have $600?....THAT'S SO WRONG!!!" Actually, it healed really well. It just looks like hell.

Then she looked at all the dry, cracked skin on my fingers and said "Ohhhhh, you picked up a FUNGUS INFECTION at the nail salon". (okay to scroll down, there are no hideous medical textbook photos)

%$#@!!! *&%$!! Grrrrrrrrr. @#$%&$!!!!!
I've been going there for 2 years and this is the first time that happens.
Good thing the medication for that is a $4 Special at WMart.

Come back again at the end of May after my next appointment with Dr Cool.
We'll be discussing whether my GIANT GOITER is responding to treatment and if I've made any progress on the LOSE MY FAT ASS project.


Fannie said...

Doctors with free samples are the very best kind.

Jen on the Edge said...


Amy A. said...

Oh, dear. Floppy toe and finger fungus. Good job on the bp, though!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Wow, you've had some year. I'm glad you have a doctor who is generous with the samples, though.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

The thought of being uninsured makes me break out in hives. I cannot wait until this country gets its act together and we get universal coverage. The situation is totally ridiculous.