First, a little history. I am a Class A Professional KLUTZPRINCESS.
When I was a little girl, Daddy would come home from work and find bloody towels in the sink. He would immediately know which of his 4 children was in the ER.
I have been bitten by a German Shepherd, ripped my leg open on a barbed wire fence, cracked my chin open on a sidewalk, gotten a fish hook stuck in the top of my foot, broken a finger and a toe and an elbow, popped 2 knuckles open in an unfortunate gardening accident and had a concussion from a car door slamming my head in a snowstorm.
This is my latest KLUTZPRINCESS caper. It involved one shoeless foot, arms full of grocery bags and a really mean dining room chair.
GOD WOMAN!! You have FAT FEET!
No actually I don't. The Little One, she is broken. The other toes took a vote and decided that, in a show of sympathy to the Littlest Piggy, they would also swell up like stuffed sausages. Then the rest of the foot decided that in solidarity, it would also swell up like a balloon.
All these foot parts also turned a few lovely shades of purple and green and black. I didn't take a picture, it was too hideous.
I've spent the past 4 days with my foot elevated and being generally pouty, weepy, or both. And CRANKY!!!! Just ask my husband!
I went to work Wed night. BIG MISTAKE. A co-worker is taking my shift tonight and I'm going to ask him to work my Saturday shift.
In the meantime, I'll be sitting here with my foot up. I'm trying to coax the Littlest Piggy into facing the right direction.
Mr Sunshine State wrote me a prescription for Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.