Monday, September 29, 2008

Another Quiz From The Uninsured

I still don't have health insurance. And today I had a hideous kitchen accident. It involved the finger with my wedding ring and a broken jar of applesauce. See if you can guess the answers to these questions.

It's OK to scroll down. There are no hideous medical pictures.

Question 1. You slice your ring finger open on a broken jar. Do you....

a) Just keep mopping up the blood with paper towels
b) Put a band-aid on it and hope for the best.
c) Call your husband and cry, then call in sick to work.

Correct answer is c

Question 2. You decide you need medical attention. Do you....

a) Call an ambulance
b) Have your husband drive you to the ER
c) Have your husband drive you to an Urgent Care Center.

Correct answer is c

Question 3. Urgent care secretary tells you the treatment will either be $169 or $469. Do you...

a) Whip out your library card and she notices that it isn't an insurance card
b) Say "whatever"
c) Break down and cry in front of strangers

Correct answer is c

Question 4. It will be cheaper if you don't get stitches. Do you...

a) Get stitches anyway
b) Put in your own stitches
c) Tell doctor you are OK with not getting it stitched

Correct answer is c

Question 5. You are feeling a little shaky and in pain. You are in a compression bandage and your hand is in a splint. Do you...

a) Take a prescription for painkillers
b) Remember that you have a bottle of Ibuprofen at home.
c) Medicate yourself with a double layer Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Frosting that your husband made .

Correct answer is c......oh, also b

Question 6. Tuesday you are scheduled for a 7 hour shift at work. Do you....
a) Call in sick and who needs a freaking days pay, anyway?
b) Call in sick and lay in bed watching soaps and eating chocolate cake.
c) Go to work and hope you don't pass out from the loss of blood and pain and pray you don't bump your left hand in any way.

Correct answer is c.
If you were able to correctly answer these 6 questions, you would make a fine citizen of Land of the Uninsured.


Anonymous said...

Oh my god. I can't believe what you've been through. How awful.

I recommend lots of chocolate and lots of movies with hot British actors.

My Name is Cat said...

I'm really glad you didn't cut your finger off and have to decide whether to pay the $50,000 or so to have it put back on. Did that make you feel any better?

Anonymous said...

Awful! I hope you get some of that billion-dollar-bailout money!!!

Cake, that helps.

Anonymous said...

I am also uninsured at the moment, and it's amazing how much Dr. Google "helps". Although, Dr. Google probably couldn't have done anything for your finger.

I clicked over from iambossy!

Anonymous said...

Ouch, that sounds awful! I presume the finger, as a whole, is still intact?

Monnik said...

oh, man! Yikes!

Hope you're feeling better!

Laurie said...

LMAO, okay I couldn't help it!! I am very sorry though, it sounds awful!
Just your quiz was so interesting and funny, it was great, but I wasn't laughing at you, but with you rather. :)
I hope your finger is doing a little better anyway. It's probably to late now and I am sure your doctor told you, but when that bad boy starts bleed like crazy or pounding so hard you think your hand will off, keep it above your heart it really does help,truly.

Anonymous said...

Good grief! I'm so sorry you are hurting and I am ashamed to live in a country where you can't get medical treatment without being a millionaire.

Make sure hubby spoils you the rest of the week!

blackbird said...

And will it heal the same as if you DID spring for the stitches? What a terrible spot to be in - it's bad enough you cut yourself, but the financial burden is unfair.
DAMN that applesauce jar.

Amy A. said...

Oh, bless your heart. I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Wow, after reading two of your posts I feel like I have a doppleganger out there. (same layout too, weird!)(I think doppleganger is the right word but I may be insinuating that you are my evil twin and in that case that is not what I mean but I am too lazy to look it up!)

I have watched as others around me take for granted the opposing world of those insured.
As I sit in, as you put it "the land of the uninsured" I don't really mind too much anymore I have resided there for 5 years now.
Worst thing thats happened to me between those years was last year. I had a bout with Mono and Strep throat at the same time. Took me almost 2 months to feel even remotely better... all the while schlepping my poor body to two jobs.

Thanks for making me feel like I wasn't the only resident of this terrible land.
I hope your finger heals and you don't pass out or you know... die because of any of it!