Saturday, November 13, 2010

NaBloPoMo: Day 13-Crazy Train

I'm doing National Blog Posting Month with a twist. Every day I'll write 5 things about a specific topic.

NaBloPoMo Day Thirteen- 5 things that drive me nutty. As Ozzy Osbourne said "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train"

1. Diagonal Parkers~ Even though I work in a plaza with a WMart, the parking area in front of our store is small. We share it with Payless, a BBQ restaurant, a pool hall, a Frozen Yogurt place and Planet Fitness. When I get to work and find out someone has parked diagonally in the last parking spot, I scream. Sometimes it's the guy with the Lexus who's trying to avoid dings. Sometimes it's the rich lady driving the biggest freaking SUV that money can buy, but she can't handle it. Yesterday it was a beat-up Mom Van. Maybe the kids were distracting her?

2. Book Abusers~ You don't own the library book, so PLEASE STOP turning over the corners to save your place. Get a post-it, take the free bookmark at the library counter or rip off a freaking square of toilet paper. While you're at it, PUT DOWN THE CHEETOS. I hate greasy, orange fingerprints on the pages.

3. Blue Toothers~ A lady at work looked up at me and said "if you aren't going to help me, I'll find someone else". Excuse me Ma'am, you have a phone in your ear, you're mumbling and you aren't looking at me. I assumed you were talking to someone else, like all the other people that come in here with a Blue Tooth in their ear. I'm tired of answering people who aren't even speaking to me.

4. Parking Lot Statues~ This one happened to me today. My friend and I were leaving the Frozen Yogurt place, 3 women were standing behind my car, saying their goodbyes. We got in the car, I started the engine, I put it in reverse and they didn't move. I backed up about a foot. They still didn't move. Just as I was about to lean on the horn, they decided to move.

5. Mushy Fruit~ Okay, the fruit can't help it if they're mushy. But I don't have to buy my fruit at the stores that have mushy produce. When I buy strawberries and they get moldy the next day I'm not happy. When I buy not-quite-green-not quite-yellow bananas and they are mushy in less than 2 days, I'm not happy. I started buying fruits and veggies at Fresh Market or Freshfields Farm. Fresh Market might be $1 more per pound for apples, but I don't have to throw any away. Freshfield requires a trip into the city (not a big deal, it's only about 15 minutes away) but they have amazing produce and also a meat market. Sorry, Grocery Store.


bunny said...

1) A-to-the-men. Gives me bad, bad thoughts that involved keys and screwdrivers.
2) My friends call me the Book Nazi. I add to your list: Don't break the spine, don't crease the cover and don't write in a book. By God.
3) Another A-to-the-men. I would have looked at her and said "Are you talking to me ma'am or the person on your phone?? I'm confused." My hubs says I am the best person he's seen to tell someone to f-off with a smile on my face.
4) Run over those assholes. Sweet Baby Jesus, what has HAPPENED to manners and common courtesy??
5) I am there with you on this one too. Mushy bananas. Badly bruised apples. BLEH.

I add to your list:
6) BLINKER MISUSE--Not using, leaving on while driving down the road, etc. IT'S THERE FOR A REASON! USE IT IDIOT! (Talking to you Bobs!) :)

Jen on the Edge said...

I can't stand it when people park badly. Can't. Stand. It.

Also hate to see books abused.

Don't get me started on people who talk on their phones everywhere. If I worked in retail, I'd take your approach and wait to help them until they got off the phone.

I'm with Bunny, run over the a-holes.

I can mostly live with mushy fruit.

I can also live with blinker mis-use, but not with people who drive in the left lane. It's for passing!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

"Blue-toothers!" Never heard that phrase before, but that behavior would make me want to SLAP them!
And as the driver of a beat up Momvan, I don't have to park diagonally to have other cars keep away (hahaha!).
Oooh, blinker abusers annoy me SO much. And tailgaters.