I've been kind of quiet lately. It always happens at this time of year. My thoughts and emotions get churned up and I do a lot of remembering.
September 13, 1994 was like any other day in my house. I had shuttled the kids to activities, done a little housecleaning and was starting to fix dinner. Tom walked into the house, hours earlier than expected. I asked him, jokingly, if he had gotten fired. It was worse than that. He came home to tell me my Dad had died. And the world stopped spinning. Because Dad had been fine 4 hours earlier. I had talked to him on the phone. While he and Mom were packing to go on a vacation, his heart stopped beating. Forever.
September 15 was our 15th wedding anniversary. I spent the day holding up my Mom at Dad's wake. Tom spent the day holding me up. He was my rock.
When our wedding anniversary rolls around every year, I am filled with happiness and sadness.
I can't think of one of these anniversaries without thinking of the other. They both fill my heart and my mind with too many memories to handle all at once. The tears flow at unexpected times.
Next week I need the emotional strength to be so happy and so sad at the same time.