Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Attack Of The Killer Gallbladder

Saturday afternoon I was lounging on the couch, watching my weekly Little House On The Prairie marathon on the JesusFreakChannel.

I suddenly broke out in a sweat and got dizzy. I thought I would go watch in bed but I never made it that far. The next thing I knew, I was doing an Oscar-worthy rendition of Linda Blair in The Exorcist. I had a fever, chills and squeezing under my ribcage that was worse than birthing a 9+pound baby with no epidural (and I really did that!).

I thought I had gotten into some bad butterscotch pudding when the pain starting creeping up my esophagus and my pulse dropped down to 44. Heart attack? I can't have a heart attack, I still live in Land Of The Uninsured!!!

One phone call to Mom and one Diagnoogle later and I was pretty sure it was a gallbladder attack.
Mr Sunshine read a website out loud to me that said NO alcohol, NO dairy, NO red meat, NO caffeine, NO fat.

F%$# F&^% F*&^ My vacation starts in 17 days.

I went to bed with a heating pad on my ribcage and prayed to the god of kindness and mercy to MAKE.IT.STOP

Now I lay me down in bed
I feel like I am almost dead
I think my gallbladder plans to pop
Hand me a scalpel. I'll make it stop.

My diet until Tuesday night was Saltines, tea, water and dry toast. Today I actually had a piece of pizza and cranberry juice.
There's a bottle of wine chilling in my fridge so I can experiment with my alcohol tolerance BEFORE we go on vacation.

Can I get a gallbladder transplant before Sept 10?


Cat said...

You're probably going to have to have that baby out which is going to be an expensive proposition without insurance.

Gail said...

Awk! Keep a close eye on that! My brother in law has been to emergency 4 times for his gall bladder. The last time they kept him 4 days! He's waiting for surgery right now. He honestly thought that he was having a heart attack.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Oh NO! That's horrible. I hope it stops fast.

Suzanne Casamento said...

OMG. What?! I've never even heard of that.

I hope you get better ASAP!

And there really a JesusFreakChannel?

Loretta a/k/a Mrs. Pom said...

Worse pain ever! Seriously, do NOT have that pizza or anything spicy or fatty. Emergency surgery for a ruptured gallbladder is not fun!!

Marthavmuffin said...

I really am embarrassed for our country. We treat our citizens like chattel. Everyone deserves good health insurance who lives here.

THere is no excuse.

This country needs to get its act together.

I am sorry for your pain and hope you can get insurance somewhere, somehow.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

My sympathies; my cousin went through hell before they took the gallbladder out. Just be careful with stuff like pizza, you may want to try some of that fake cheese they sell as Whole Paycheck and see how that flies.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Arggg......I had mine about 5 years ago, never regretted it.

Jen on the Edge said...

Oh no, how terrible. I hope you're feeling better by now and that you don't have to have insurance.