Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Dear Mom

I'm home. *sigh* I flew back to The Sunshine State on Tuesday because it was the only day I could get a ride to the airport in Boston.

I managed to take care of Mom and be pretty much housebound by the rain and her needs for 17 days without a major meltdown (by me).

Here are a few memos to Mom:

Dear Mom:
Who told you this was a 2 week recovery? We all heard 6 to 8 weeks. Patience, woman. Patience.
Dear Mom:
Cleaning the house at 10:30 pm, the day before your housecleaner comes is crazy and I refuse to participate. She knows you had surgery. She knows you aren't a slob. I don't care if you cry. I'm already in bed for the night.
Dear Mom:
Okay, if it will prevent you from having an anxiety attack, I will clean the garage.
Dear Mom:
I threw away the tube of cortisone cream that expired in 1981. 
Dear Mom:
These kitchen towels have been here since 1962. You have a drawer with 8 new kitchen towels that still have price tags. Explain.
Dear Mom:
No, I don't think you're a hoarder, you just keep stuff WAY beyond it's expiration date.
Dear Mom:
I'm diabetic. So are you. It's NOT okay to eat cookies every day. You can cheat all you want, but don't try to make me feel guilty for not cheating with you.
Dear Mom:
I put 3 ice cubes in your tea. Not 2. Not 4. Yes, I DID just call you a fusspot!
Dear Mom:
If you have to wear jeans and a fleece jacket and wrap up in a blanket, it's TOO COLD to sit on the deck. I'll be in the house. Wrapped up in jeans, a fleece jacket and a blanket.
Dear Mom:
Surgery complications SUCK. I'm sorry you are going through all these setbacks. I can come back in a couple of weeks.
Dear Mom:
If you INSIST on walking down the steep driveway, BRING YOUR CELL PHONE, BRING YOUR CELL PHONE, BRING YOUR CELL PHONE.  I'm almost certain that you'll tumble into the street and need to call someone for help.
Dear Mom:
I'm only a phone call and a 3 hour plane ride away. I love you.

7 comments:

Jen on the Edge said...

I'm still shaking my head over the expired cortisone.

Glad you made it home safely.

Cat said...

I found things in my MiL's house that were expired before she moved them from Jersey to FL. I'm not sure what this old ladies are thinking.

Loretta a/k/a Mrs. Pom said...

Oy vey. When we reach that age, you have my permission to slap me upside the head and I will do the same for you. If I was ambulatory, I'd be off to check through my mom's medicine chest.

Sounds like a good visit - real mother/daughter. She'll be fine and you'll all be back to visit when it is warm and sunny!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

You are a good daughter--like my MIL, you stayed the course, did the hard job that goes unappreciated and unnoticed. That was heroic work!

velocibadgergirl said...

Many hugs to you!

(That almost came out as uggs...do you like large fuzzy boots? If so I can put it back.)

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Are you sure we don't have the same mother? The one that says salad dressing two years old is perfectly fine because they put so many preservatives in it anyway? Sorry I didn't get a chance to attempt to see you while you were here - I hope we can do that when you don't have a patient to care for!

Mrs. Tuna said...

My mom never believe anything expired, you there girl, just cut the mold off that cheese its fine.

Your a good daugher, I miss my mom very much.