Wednesday, February 16, 2011

A Fresh Serving Of Spam

Man: Well, what've you got?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam
(My favorite Monty Python skit)

Last week I was at Mom's Tin Can Retirement Village, where she had decided "we don't need no stinkin' Internet". I came home to 285 new gems in my SPAM folder.

Every now and then some non-spam gets in there so I decided to browse the folder. I can understand the emails that landed there because of other things I had Googled...Medical Training Schools, Low Carb diets, Shoes, Charm Bracelets and Diabetic supplies. Here's a small selection of the rest.

5 Pizza ads (I don't even want to THINK about pizza)
7 Breast enlargement ads (I'm OK with my current size, thanks)
5 Tanning ads (I live in Florida, duh)
6 Mortgage reduction, 12 Home Repair, 2 Landscaping (I live in a 2nd floor treehouse apartment?)
15 Baldness, Viagra, Cialis and Penis Enlargement ads (Last time I checked the plumbing I was a female)
2 Wedding and 1 Funeral website (Not planning either one...yet)
7 Dating websites (HONEST, Mr Sunshine...I'm NOT looking for another husband)

This next bunch was very tempting. I got a LOT of come-ons for vacations. I would go to ANY of these places if I won the lottery...Ireland, Paris, Jamaica, Hawaii,Las Vegas, San Diego (I could visit Jenn at Juggling Life!), Belize, London (with Jen On The Edge!), Cabo, Alaska or Lake Tahoe.

I'd like to give a big SHOUT OUT to the following people who think they are my new BFF's. OF COURSE I'll open and respond to your urgent email...
Kristi, Maureen, Idris, Ban Ki-moon, Melody, CJ, Gretchen, Aveline, Sharron, Twyla, Veronica, Mrs Grace, Richard, Ganesh, Abigail (could be my cousin's daughter but she's too young to type), Reginald, Ted, Olya, Daphne and Ayu.

I'll get back to you all ASAP.


Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Holy SPAM!
I hate it when I find so much--and they're so generic in their targeting--can you believe this approach is profitable? Me either.

Audubon Ron said...

Yeah, but if it wuddn't for Spam mail, I'd get no mail at all.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

I think I have perfected the art of spam filtering. I don't get many, but for some reason, most of them come from Poland. Spam = kielbasa.

Mrs. Tuna said...

But did you get mine wishing you happy valentine's day?

Monnik said...

Yeah, I rarely check my spam folder. It just annoys me when I do. I wonder if they have any luck with their 'campaigns'.

Mrs. G. said...

Most of my spam is in Chinese. I don't know what the hell is being sold.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Oooh--do the San Diego one!