Friday, May 7, 2010

How I Was A Rotten Mother

Sunday is the 25th Anniversary of my Motherhood. Let me tell you what a rotten mother I have been.

A) I waited until I was 28 to have my first child. I'm glad I had the chance and the choice to enjoy 5 years of being married, lots of vacations, a motorcycle, own our first condo and be cute in my 20's.

B) My kids were sick babies. We spent a lot of time on Pedi floors in hospitals. I was HORRIBLE. I would refuse to leave X-ray and Cat Scan rooms, I would tell doctors on the phone "NO, I am NOT waiting until tomorrow morning to have you see my 5 month old that has a temp of 105!!" On the morning of surgeries, I would refuse to let go of my child until they were appropriately knocked unconscious by pre-op meds.

C) I refused to go back to work for 4 years. This resulted in a $21,000/year reduction in our family income. I still think it was the right thing to do. My mother-in-law disagrees.

D)I let them have a rabbit. That lived in a cage. In our dining room.

E) I made the kids go to church. As soon as humanly possible, they stopped going to church.
I don't even care.

F) I spoil my daughter. She is my only daughter. I feel that her sole purpose in life is to make me laugh. She does this often and she does this well. I repay her by (so far) getting her through 4 years of college with no loans in anybody's name (except short-term loans by Bank of Grandma). I buy her purses and dresses and Sorority Sisters. When she comes to visit we watch marathons of bad reality shows.

G) I left my 21 year old son alone on Cape Cod and moved to Florida. I didn't really think that bird was ready to fly out of the nest, but I pushed him out anyway. He didn't want to move with us and I said "Ba-bye, have fun working 3 jobs to support yourself". 4 years later, he is still flying solo up there. He calls me every Monday night. I'm still not going back!! If he calls me on Mother's Day and asks if he can move here and live with us, I will say yes. And give him a 6-month moving out date.

H) I have started making remarks about the fact that I'm almost 53 and not a grandmother. I completely ignore the fact that there are no current spouses or spousal equivalents in their lives. I completely ignore the fact that neither one of them WANTS to give me a grandchild anywhere in the near future. I just keep making sad puppy-dog eyes every time I hear about someone I know becoming a grandmother. And NO, I DO NOT WANT A PUPPY.

So, there's the evidence of my rotten motherhood.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the Moms, Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the women out there who would have been GREAT Moms.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the women who are mothering children they didn't give birth to.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to women who love our kids like they were their own

10 comments:

Cat said...

I'm so happy to have another rotten mother to be friends with, even if it is only through the internet. Happy Mother's Day, LMSS!

Jen on the Edge said...

It sounds like you are a GREAT mother!

Happy Mothers' Day!

tom said...

and I am a horrible father

getting the bunny out of the cage before kids got up due to the fact bunny was rigamortis and i mean as stiff as a board damn thing just fell over and died

no you don't get a puppy

oh yeah I'm a horrible father when on thanksgiving sorority girl was in the hospital I stayed so you could do holiday with family oohh bad dad

bad dad got to spend the night in the hospital with sorority girl while you enjoyed your cold ooohhh bad mom got sick could go on and on but the really bad part was the fun we had before we had kids traveled, mg for a car, motorcycle did she ever tell y'all how she told me she was pregnant. She told me I had to get rid of my bike i looked at her like she had 3 heads course to me she did i was po'd then she told me why, sold it the next day to one of my employees father....bad dad

tom said...

sorry forgot to put this in I wouldn't change any of it...

Happy Mothers day to you lmss and all her fans


bad dad

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Happy Mother's Day! Based on this report, I'd say you did an extraordinary and wonderful job!

blackbird said...

Oh, I'm guilty of some of those things too!

Happy Mother's Day!

Cat said...

That was awesome! While I never did the motorcycle, I did do the "be cute in my 20's" thing (and loved it!).

Happy Horrible Mother's Day ;)

Fannie said...

Pft, you sound like great mom to me!

Loretta a/k/a Mrs. Pom said...

Hey - sounds like a good mother in my book! Smart kids, independent kids, too hard-working parents. What more makes a good family??

Class factotum said...

What is it with these MILs who are upset that their grandchildren are not being cared for by minimum wage strangers? Are they angry that the DIL is not validating the MIL's choice? Are they feeling guilty? If the family is willing to take the financial hit, why should MIL care if mom does not put the kids in day care?