Sunday, June 14, 2009

Retail Shenanigans

My brother and I are playing a fun little game on facebook.
It's called Retail Shenanigans!!
He is a retail manager for a giant office supply store that starts with an S.
I am a retail worker bee for a Shower Gel Store.

Every night we tell each other stories. He tells me how worker bees drive him crazy and I tell him how the manager drives me crazy.

Here is one of his rants...
Associate: I forgot to punch in.
Me: Sucks being you and not getting paid!
Associate: Well, yeah, but you can fix it.
Me: Oh, so you LIKE making more work for me, do you??? How 'bout I give you NO HOURS next week, that way you won't have to worry about punching in and out every day. Chucklehead!

Here is one of my rants...
Manager screwed up the payroll to the tune of 130 hours over the course of 3 weeks. So everyone that isn't management got cut down to 3 hours this week. Except me....they like me so I got 7.5
So I worked Wed night and was supposedly off until next Tuesday night...until 10AM Friday when I got a call that said """how soon can you be here!!!"""I worked noon to 7:30...just me and Manager. Then I got a call on Sunday morning ""how soon can you be here!!!""" I worked 2 to 6:30.

After that we regale each other with stories of clueless customers.
Here is one of his stories...
Customer: Do you work here?
Me: No lady, I just like getting up at 5 am and leaving my idylic coastal Mayberrry and driving though the hideous traffic to come here to this hellhole of a shopping center and hang around the pen aisle wearing this dorky plastic name tag.
Customer: Do you sell pens?
Me: Shoot me.

Here are two of my stories...
3 Customers in a row...I ring up $100 worth of shower gel and room fresheners and I look up and they're all back in line to do returns...
so they can repurchase with a 20% off coupon that they forgot in their car.

Today a customer came in and said "Last week I was here and the promotion was Buy 3, Get 3 free". I want to return these 3. These are the ones I paid for, not the free ones.
My manager offered to give her half of what she paid for all 6. The customer then proceeded to scream the F-BOMB multiple times in multiple sentences and stormed out of the store. The lady behind her said, "I know that woman, she is rude and mean. I see her in my church every Sunday!"

My brother and I joke that we should write a book called
Retail Managers Suck! NO! Retail Worker Bees Suck!
And sometimes Retail Customers Also Suck!

And every single word of this is true.


Jen on the Edge said...

Wowzer, there are some really dishonest/rude/clueless people out there.

Maggie May said...

ha! i love the way you ended this.

Missy said...

very funny! I am a customer service rep so I have lovely customer stories too but I love that-bringing back the 3 she paid for....too funny! Do they still throw that shower stuff in the trash when you bring it back? Oh, and I do have a facebook...Missy Baker Escobar...been a little bored with it lately so haven't been on there much.

Jennifer Denise Ouellette said...

I have no doubt there true. It's a crazy world out there.